What We Give
by wolverine99
Summary: Love is sacrifice, pain and anguish. Damon Salvatore knows this all too well. He has spent four years knowing he made the ultimate sacrifice and left, ripping out his own soul in the process. With the disappearance of Jeremy Gilbert, Damon reluctantly returns home to help Elena find him. Were past choices the right ones? Will the sacrifices have been worth it? AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Woo hoo a new TVD story. I feel like I have been sitting on this story for a while. My goal is to update weekly. Hope you enjoy! Happy reading!**

**Chapter 1**

I can only watch her now. She's older. No longer the gangly teenager I left behind. The curves are where a woman should have curves. Her hair is longer than I remember, but it still reminds me of a river of chocolate. Does it still smell like mango and vanilla? I sure as hell hope not. That smell still makes me get hard in a second because it reminds me of her.

Even after all this time, she's a siren calling me, luring me with her beauty. Despite being a weak man, I resist because it's what is best for her. I resist because I am the worst thing for her. Selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, man-whore, day drinker...I am all these things and worse. Someone unworthy to bath in the light that inherently emanates from within her.

It may seem like I have built her up over the years to exist only on a pedestal. Rose colored glasses making her perfect the way only time can for those we've lost. Nope. This girl has flaws...flaws aplenty. She's too stubborn for her own good. Reckless with her own life. A martyr. She makes decisions that are "the best" for those she cares about without considering how the one in question may feel. She tries to take on the pain of life herself in hopes those around her will escape it. She never understood that when she hurts we hurt so her lone wolf tactics never spare anyone anything. Everyone just hurts in the end. This girl, er woman, is definitely flawed but she loves like no other. She loves with her heart, her soul, and every fiber of her being.

Did she really love me all those years ago? Maybe. Maybe not. She certainly didn't try and find me after I left. Not that expected her to after what did. Not that I could have been found, but I would have known if she looked. I didn't keep track of her over the years. The masochist in me craved knowing what she was doing every second watching her enjoy the happy life I couldn't provide. The rational part of my soul knew if I saw her, even once, I wouldn't be able to let her go. Wouldn't be able to let her live a life away from the destructive force of nature that is yours truly.

Why did fate have to choose today of all fucking days for me to see her? I've spent four years fighting to turn off my emotions related to her. Four years of being alone. Four years of knowing I did the right thing, forcing myself to move on and forget the life that could have been. Why, after all this time, am I not walking away but sitting here watching her like some pathetic stalker? Because I fucking love her and no matter how many times I try and move on from her, I never will. As cheesy and cliché as it is, she was the _one, _but I loved her enough to let her go. It doesn't matter if she won't love me now, who knows if she even loved me then. Besides my brother she is the only person that has a piece of my heart. Fate is truly a bitch to choose today instead of the other 364 possibilities for her to show up. Fate had to choose the anniversary of the day my hopes and dreams faded away. The day Elena Gilbert was ripped from my life and the day that the Damon Salvatore that once was died.

**A/N: I know this opening was very short and a little cryptic. All will revealed in due time. I promise future chapters will be longer. Please leave a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This story will have flashbacks occasionally and those sections will be in italics. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 2**

Lately, a sense of dread has been following me around like a dark cloud. It only grew worse when Alaric called in his favor giving me an address and time to show up. Now I am sitting in a coffee shop. In a mall. In the one state to which I vowed never to return.

Sitting here, the reason for my feeling of foreboding is drinking an iced coffee on the other side of the coffee shop talking to Alaric and the memory of the day we became best friends invades my thoughts.

_The sun was shining, warming my skin as I rode down the street. Dad kicked me out of the house because he had 'stuff to do.' Stefan luckily was playing with Tyler Lockwood and Matt Donovan at the Lockwood's. I could go there too, but I don't want to have to play with the little kids. Plus Mrs. Lockwood hates me. Ever since I punched her other son Mason, she thinks I'm a troublemaker and says so every time she sees my dad. No one believed me that I overheard him bragging to his friends, Jules and Brady, that he had been picking on kids that were from the founding families. For some reason he wanted to prove how untouchable he was by picking on them and not getting into trouble because his dad's the mayor. So, I confronted him about it. See what kind of tough guy he was when confronted by someone his own size. Maybe I shouldn't have hit him first but if he stopped picking on people it was worth it._

_Pedaling down the street with no destination, I saw a girl trying to climb a tree one handed. There was something in her other hand preventing her from using it to climb. As I pedaled closer I saw it was Elena Gilbert and she was holding a bird's nest in the crook of her arm. Elena was friends with my little brother, Stefan and they're in the same class at school. She comes over to the house whenever her parents visit for dinner. The Gilberts have been friends parents with my parents for forever. Well, I guess they're friends with just my dad now. I usually stay in my room when they come over. I'm in double digits. No way would my ten year old self would be caught playing with a couple of seven year olds._

_Jumping off my bike I laid it down on the grass and raced over to the tree worried she might fall on her butt. Reaching up I grabbed her around the waste and pulled her down to the ground making sure she was steady on her feet before letting go. She whipped around and stared up at me with big doe eyes. One hand went to her hip and she shot me a glare._

_"Why did you pull me down?" Elena demanded._

_"Duh, maybe because I didn't want you to fall and die." I bit back._

_Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she looked down at the birds nest in her hand. "Jeremy threw the ball at the tree and knocked the nest down. He's only three and didn't mean it, but I have to fix it. The momma bird is going to miss her babies. I need to get the babies back to their momma." Elena looked from the nest to the tree branches way up high._

_With a heavy sigh, I looked up to the tree and down to the little girl now letting a few tears escape down her cheeks. The tears did me in. Plus I had a feeling if I didn't fix this, the kid would find a way to do it herself and I couldn't let her get hurt. Without a word I reached out to take the nest from her, but she jumped back in alarm._

_"How do I know you'll actually save the birds? Mason Lockwood said he would help but just tried to use the nest to play catch with his friends. Laughing hysterically the whole time." Elena narrowed her eyes now filled with mistrust._

_"Asshole." I nearly slapped myself on the head. I can't use words like in front of her._

_"Sorry, I meant jerk. How did you get the nest back?"_

_"I kicked him where boys don't like to be kicked. He left crying." She had a smug smile on her face. You have to hand it to the kid, she's didn't take crap from Mr. Mason 'I'm better than everyone else' Lockwood. She moved up a couple of notches in my book._

_"I promise to get the nest back where it belongs, okay?" She eyed me skeptically for a second before she nodded slowly and handed over the nest._

_I shimmied my way up the tree placing the nest in a branch where I hoped it would be safe. Cursing how I got myself into this predicament for a seven-year old girl, I dropped to the ground wincing at the pain in my ankle._

_"You kept your promise" she said in awe._

_"I always keep my promises." I smirked at her._

_Once I was back on solid ground, Elena was glued to my hip for the rest of the day. She just talked and talked and talked. Man, for a little kid she had a lot to say._

Forcing my eyes down, I just stare at the coffee in front of me intently, hoping that the black liquid would reach out and drown me. That would stop me from returning to a past and feelings I had long buried. It would stop me from facing what I had been running from the last four years. As the love of my life disappears into the throngs of happy Saturday shoppers, I see Alaric weaving his way through tables to my secluded corner flopping down in the chair across from me unaware of how he just dropped a bomb on my life.

"So?" Alaric asks removing the microphone from his pocket that had been transmitting to the ear piece I had discreetly concealed in my ear to hear his conversation.

"First off, why I am being called for a case in fucking Virginia?" I growl at him. He knows this state is off limits for me. My jaw is clenched so tight I'm surprised I don't crack teeth. I seize my partner, drinking buddy, and, in all honesty, only friend, by the lapels of his shirt pulling him toward me across the table.

Alaric Saltzman found me not long after I left Mystic Falls, drinking in a bar trying to lose my past in the bottom of a bourbon bottle. A drunken bar fight brought our lives together when some guy took a swing at me and he decided to jump in and help. We made a pretty badass team that night and have had each other's back ever since.

"You owed me and I needed your expertise. There were no warrants out for your arrest in Virginia, no reason for you not to come here, so I called in my favor." Alaric tries to shove me away but my anger is burning through my veins giving me the strength of a hundred men and he stay right where I am holding him.

Damn Alaric. He knew I wouldn't be able to say no if he called in his favor. My only redeeming quality is my over developed sense of loyalty, but only towards a select few. Alaric being one of those few.

Alaric still hasn't said why he was meeting with HER? Why did he drag me near the place I can never return? How could my blackened dead heart still bleed from the wounds it was subjected to four years ago after seeing her for only five minutes?

"Secondly," I respond ignoring his comments, "Why am I working on a case for her?" Shoving Alaric back into his chair, I slouch in my own seat running my hands through my hair. In trying to tone down my anger, I realize my raven locks desperately need to be cut before it moved into mullet territory.

"April set up the meeting since I was doing a job in Richmond. The girl? If you had been listening to the conversation like I asked then you would know her brother is missing. Supposedly this is the only time and place she could meet. She wants to hire us to find him. Something didn't sit right with me after our initial phone call so I wanted you to observe the first in person meeting, see if your bullshit meter went off." The news of the missing brother has me bolting upright in my chair and locking my gaze with his.

"Jeremy's missing?" I realize my mistake the second the words leave my mouth.

Alaric quirks an eyebrow at me and I brace myself for the paternal lecture. A night of a shared bottle of bourbon had me verbally vomiting how I had once loved a girl and she had been the _One. _But due to the fact that I am a fuck up...no surprise, I fucked it up. Our drunken night of confessions was not long after Alaric invited me to join him as a private investigator in the firm he had as a side business in Atlanta. The firm was meant to supplement his meager earnings writing history books since he no longer taught history. Alaric had made a name for himself as an amateur people hunter, finding the lost that the police didn't have the time or resources to find. His skills had been born searching far and wide for a wife that had disappeared in the middle of the night. She was one of the few cases he was never able to solve. After investing so much time and energy in developing his private investigator skills he decided to make a career out of it.

"How did you..." Alaric's eyes widen and he collapses into his chair. "It's her isn't it? _Your _Elena?"

My gaze drifts to where she had been sitting just moments ago and I simply nod my head. "So now you know why I don't do cases in Virginia...need to be nowhere near my home town and nowhere near Elena Gilbert."

"I'm so sorry, buddy. I had no idea." Alaric huffs out a breath running his hands through his hair then tilts his head to the side seeming to study me.

Don't do it Alaric. The look that I hate more than any other creeps over his face like a slow moving storm. It's the face I imagine he used when he was a history teacher to keep his kids in line. The face he pulls when he wants to lecture and guilt me into doing something I don't want to do.

"What's the brother mean to her?"

"He means more to her than life itself," I answer without hesitation. The bond between Elena and Jeremy, despite the crap Jeremy pulled as a kid, never wavered. I doubt even death would make that bond crumble.

"Then I need you more than ever. The whole family, hell supposedly the whole town, is convinced he ran away. All except her. She's convinced he wouldn't run but I suspect there is more to the story that she isn't saying. You know the family, you know the town and you know her. I need your insight." Alaric leans back in his seat, his face earnest, and his eyes sincere. He really thinks he needs my help.

For promises of the past to be kept I have to stay away. I endured too much, gave up to much to risk it all now.

"She's engaged," Alaric blurts out. His eyes dance nervously around the coffee shop no longer meeting mine.

"Saw the rock. It's a monster. Must be someone loaded." Alaric eyes suddenly fill with pity. Yep, the fiancé is loaded alright. I try not to grimace at the thought of her fiancé.

"What's your point?" I hate that my voice is so clipped giving away how affected I am by this news.

"No offense buddy, but if she's obviously moved on from you. I doubt she is going to up and dump her fiancé, even for the great Damon Salvatore. Expect a tongue lashing when she sees you for the first time, but that's nothing new to you. Man up and help her get her brother back safe and sound." Alaric gave an apologetic shrug of his shoulders.

Little brother did it. He got the girl. My girl. Well, I liked to pretend back then she was mine, but in truth she was always his. In reality we were, are, hers but I was the booby prize and Stefan the diamond ring. From what Alaric is describing, literally.

I maneuver in my seat, my back suddenly becoming tight as I contemplated Alaric's words. Elena's always came first for me, even if I had to make her hate me to ensure she had a future worthy of her. Which in the end is exactly what happened and I endured the pain of it all.

Could I really go home? If she's going to marry my brother then there is no chance of her going down my dark path. No chance I would ever be back in her life. She would remain safe. She'll hate me when she sees me, but she needs Jeremy. I can face her wraith to ensure Jeremy's gets brought home safe and sound.

"When do we leave?"

**A/N: I know what many of you are thinking...another love triangle story. All I'll say is stick with it and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.**

**So team badass is heading to Mystic Falls! Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts and theories. **

**You can also follow me on twitter: wolverine_999**

**Or read my first original story on wattpad: wolverine99**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for longer than expected wait for this chapter. My computer and I were not on speaking terms for a couple of days, but he has seen the light and is cooperating fully. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 3**

Damn you Alaric. It's raining and I'm wet. I'm here in Mystic Falls because he managed to convince me to be the good guy and help with the case to find Elena's brother. He threw out the clichés about being the bigger person, getting closure, yada, yada, yada. The only reason I am helping is Elena's happiness. All the other reasons don't matter. Despite her annoying propensity for getting into trouble without even trying and even despite her affinity for my brother, I can't resist the opportunity to spend time with Elena. Even if the majority of that time will be her yelling at me and telling to go to hell. Turns out the siren lured me in despite my best intentions. Hopefully it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. What am I saying, it's me, Damon Salvatore were talking about….it will definitely come back to bite me in the ass.

So here I am looking like a drowned rate, spying on the townies. Since I'm from Mystic Falls it was decided I would sneak into the place I once called home, snoop around and see who the major players are in town these days. Alaric's currently holed up in some rat-motel off the interstate running phone records and credit cards for Jeremy hoping to find some trail of where he might have gone. I drew the short straw tailing the town folk since I know all the hideout spots to blend in so I can go unspotted for the recon portion of the investigation.

Over the past few days I have learned that not much has changed in Mystic Falls. No big surprise, Liz Forbes is still Sheriff, the Lockwoods are the mayor and first lady, and daddy dearest still has the paper mill employing half the town.

Pulling my jacket closer around me as I spy from my location in an alley off of Main Street, I silently curse Jeremy. That kid always was a pain in the ass. If it turns out he is holed up somewhere with a blunt and a bottle of Jack, I may kill the pip squeak myself. Just as I prepare to call it a day I see her. Elena runs across the street towards the Grille, which I can tell is still Mystic Falls' "hot spot." She delicately dodges the puddles, her cutesy flowered umbrella sheltering her from the rain.

Elena has grown up. Back when she was in high school it was a rare day to catch her in anything other than jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and her beloved chucks on her feet. Now, she's buffed and coifed. She was supposed to finish her senior year in New York in a highly competitive writing program. From the looks of she must have become successful. As with all other aspects of her life, I've turned a blind eye and force myself not to look for her name when in a bookstore.

New York high society must have left an impression. I made the mistake of looking Stefan up and I know he just graduated from Columbia so by default Elena is there too since the two are getting married. In fact, I'm shocked she is even back in town. Her dad had ALS and everyone knew he wouldn't survive to see her graduate high school. She and her mother never got along, in fact her mother was verbally abusive and controlling. A complete bitch. Despite how much she loved her dad, she always said after her dad died, nothing would make her happier than burning down the house and never looking back. Maybe she and Stefan just wanted to get married in their hometown before resuming their life in New York and the pursuit of Stefan's medical career. The kid always wanted to be surgeon general.

The emergence of Elena a short while later forces me to stop daydreaming about what her and Stefan's life must be like. She definitely looks like a new woman. The clothes are designer, her make-up impeccable, and high heels that make her legs go on for miles. Everything about her screams wealth and success. From the looks of her, she must have made all her dreams come true. That's all I ever wanted for her. As much as it hurt me, maybe the circumstances that had me leaving town were for the best. I couldn't have given her this life. So those whispers echoing in my head from the past were right. I wasn't good enough for her.

As I watch her walk down the sidewalk, she is followed by a bubbly blonde. If memory serves, that would be Caroline Forbes. Sheriff's daughter, once upon a time head cheerleader, control freak, blonde best friend. Not one of my favorites of the brat pack that Stefan hung out with back in high school. Speaking of baby brother I should probably announce my arrival at some point. Today finished up our information gathering phase so I guess it is time to announce myself to the town. I can see what the mischievous little shit has been up to all these years besides getting to marry the love of my life. I can only imagine the welcome I will receive from my quote un quote family.

It didn't take long to reach Casa del Salvatore. The Camaro seemed to remember the way despite my attempts to forget. If I said I didn't miss the place it would be a bold face lie. Despite my father's extreme hatred of all things Damon, there are some good memories here. Hide and seek in the gardens, snow ball fights, and picnics in the backyard with my mom and Stefan. My mother would look at us like we were the greatest treasures in the universe. She bathed us in love, laughter and joy. The feeling of love was so palpable I used it as a set of armor for years after her passing against the belligerent words my father threw at me like daggers.

My mother was one of the few people, maybe the only person that truly loved me for me. Most that knew her say I look like her. The same black hair, blue eyes and pale complexion. Stefan took after the Salvatore side of the family. Maybe that was why dad loved him and not me. Of course, there were lots of other reasons, who I am kidding. My mom loved Stefan with all her heart, like any mother loves her child, but a small part of me always liked to pretend I was her favorite. For years it was really just the two of us. Dad was too busy playing small town business tycoon to bother with us much. When Stefan arrived, suddenly Giuseppe decided it was time to be a dad…to Stefan, not so much to me.

Sitting in my car staring at the tudor style home, I fight the urge to put the Camaro in reverse and drive away from this place and this town. Despite my best intentions, this investigation will just end in heart ache because when does anything go my way. _Wow…all aboard the pity train, one ticket please. Suck it up Damon, you're a big boy._ Pulling up my big boy underroos, I force myself out of my car and up the walk to rap on the door.

The door flies open before I can reconsider my actions to reveal a very shocked Stefan. "Hello brother."

Leaving Elena four years ago broke my heart but standing before my little brother, I realize leaving him hurt just as much. No matter how we were treated as kids, how the roads of our lives diverged, he was, is and always will be my little brother. Nothing can ever change the love of a brother. As much as I want to resent him for being the one to receive Elena's love, in the end, I can't. Despite his flaws he has always been the better man. He's thoughtful and considerate, every parents dream; whereas I am every parent's worst nightmare.

"It's been a long time Damon." The frost in his tone is evident. I notice that Stefan stands in the door making no move to invite me in so I invited myself in, brushing past him plunging myself back into the cold sterility of my youth from after my mom's passing.

"Why don't you come in" Stefan snarls at my back.

"Here I thought I would be welcome back with open arms Steffie." Stefan's jaw clenches and I can't help but smirk. He's still so easy to rile up.

I stride into the living room and zero in on the small bar near the fireplace. Funny how that bar is the last real memory I have of this house. It's where I would frequently steal alcohol to drink myself into a stupor to forget how much my own father hated me and it is the place I stood during our last fight before my world turned upside down.

* * *

"_**Damn it Damon. You can't keep yourself out of trouble for two seconds can you?" Giuseppe screamed at me.**_

"_**Do tell father-mine, what did I do this time?" I smirked at him as I finished pouring the drink I had been in the middle of fixing myself when he stormed into the room.**_

_**My so called father glared at the drink in my hand before turning his eyes to me. It was as if the hatred was radiating off him in heat waves, scorching my skin. I had to force myself to stand my ground and not back away for the fear of getting burned. **_

"_**Mason Lockwood. You got into a fight with the mayor's son? And got yourself kicked off the Virginia Tech football team in the process!" Giuseppe stormed across the room so we were practically toe to toe.**_

_**Mason fucking Lockwood. That guy had been a thorn in my side since we were kids. If my dad only knew the shit he pulled he would be glad I punched him. I was protecting his beloved Stefan. Of course dad would never believe anything negative about his precious little boy and he would never believe that sometimes fighting to protect those you love, even it ruins your reputation, is the right thing to do. **_

"_**Yes, punching Mason got me kicked off the football team. Yes, this resulted in me losing my college scholarship. I was planning to drop out anyway so it's no big loss. Anything else you want to know?" I'm sure my snarky attitude wasn't helping the situation but if dad was going to act like a bull in a china shop, who I was to not wave a red cape and make the situation worse. I already had an escape plan from him, this town, this life. **_

_**The front door opened and closed and footsteps could be heard in the foyer but the impending audience didn't seem to deter my father's rant.**_

"_**You are such a waste of space. I never should have let your mother have you. One drunken mistake and I'm saddled with the most useless son in the world. If not for you I could have done great things with my life." **_

_**"Love you too dad" I snarked.**_

_**Giuseppe poked me in the chest and my grip tightened on my glass. The desire to not spill the aged bourbon in my hand, plus a promise to a brown haired girl, kept my hand firmly in place instead in the side of my father's face.**_

_**The gasp of shock from behind me indicated said brown haired girl was now in the house witnessing my father inviserate me with years of pent up hatred. Hopefully my hero haired brother was doing his duty and moving Elena out of the line of fire because once dad realized she was there he would bring out both guns blazing and holding myself to my promise of never hitting my father was going to be very hard to live up to.**_

_**Of course dad plowed ahead as if I had never spoken. "If you can't finish your business degree, how will you take over the mill when the time comes?" **_

"_**Stefan has a good head on his shoulders. He's smart, capable. Since I'm such a fuck-up, you have a back-up to take over the business." I nonchalantly shrugged at him. The couch was behind me so I flopped down on it and crossed my ankle over my knee and waited for whatever hate filled bomb he was about to throw at me.**_

"_**Stefan is destined for bigger things than this town Damon. I would never ask him to lower his sights to run a business you should be able to run in your sleep to keep these ungrateful hicks employed." Dad never got over the fact I ruined his life, which he has reminded me of with great frequency throughout my own life. I had heard the story a million times. He had plan to get out of this two bit town, but my mother trapped him into marriage by getting pregnant with me. As if managed that one on her own. He was forced to give up his dreams of the big city and the woman that he really loved. I say the woman was lucky to escape the jack-ass. He made my mother's life miserable right until the end. My punishment for being born was to live the same life as him. Stay in Mystic Falls and run the family business that Salvatore's have run for generations. Giuseppe was basically doing to me what his father had done to him, but I have other plans.**_

"_**Well, find some other schmuck to take over then, because it won't be me." I couldn't keep the smile on my face even as he grabbed me by the lapels of my button down shirt and hauled me to my feet.**_

"_**If you still want a roof over your heads, your fancy cars, and money for the line of whores you parade around, you do what I saw and run the business." The cringe at the mention of my sex life didn't go unnoticed by father. There had a one night stand here or there and maybe here and there again about a hundred times over. I still didn't need it announced from the rooftops. His gaze moved from me to over my shoulder and I knew he was looking at Elena.**_

"_**You can't even get a girlfriend. Just a string of one night stands. Now you are a college dropout, no job, no money. What girl would want you? There is a reason that woman like Miss Gilbert here end up with men like your brother. He can give her the world where you would only ruin her life." The smirk was evident on his face as he looked back at me.**_

_**He leaned in closer and whispered in my ear so only could hear. "I warn you now to stay far, far away from that girl. She isn't meant for you." He pushed me back down on the couch. My free hand clenched into a fist and I have never in my life wanted to hit another human being like I wanted to hit my father in that moment. **_

_**The glass in my hand slammed down on the table with a loud thud, some of the alcohol sloshing over the sides as I jumped back to my feet. I stepped so close to my dad I could feel his warm uneven breath on my face. There was a brief glimmer of fear in his eyes when I stood but it was gone a second later. He dared tried to pull Elena into his mind games and I couldn't stand for that. Elena was used enough by her own mother, no way was my father getting in on the act as well.**_

"_**You hate me, I get it, but you don't pull Elena into your version of father son bonding. This happens again and our war of words might turn a little uglier." The fear was now clear in his eyes and he was no longer able to hide it. My fighting prowess was legendary and the old man wouldn't stand a chance against me. I'd choose Elena in heartbeat over him and he knew it.**_

_**The temptation to strike out physically was too great if we stayed that close to each other. Knowing I would have the ultimate revenge on my father, I strutted to the door happy to see that Stefan had managed to wrangle Elena outside so she didn't have to continue to witness our dysfunctional family in action. **_

"_**Damon, this conversation isn't over!" he bellowed.**_

_**Sliding on the leather jacket I had grabbed on my way to the door, I glanced at dad over my shoulder returning the smirk he was wearing early. "No time to continue. I have a full agenda today. People to hit, lives to ruin, causing chaos to ensue. It keeps me very busy." Without another glance I strode out the door letting it slam behind me.**_

"_**Can I help you Miss Gilbert?" I asked as I stopped by my Camaro where she was nervously pacing. Stefan was nowhere in sight, most likely he headed back in the house to try and calm down our dad. Poor kid was always stuck in the middle trying to broker peace.**_

"_**This is one time I think I would have been okay if you had hit him, but I'm so proud of you for being the better man and walking away. You kept your promise." The smile she gave was brilliant and seemed like a reward for putting up with my father's hatred. The smile was even sweeter because her smiles were few and far between these days with her dad being sick and her mom controlling every aspect of Elena's life she could.**_

"_**I always keep my promises," I reminded her softly as I tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.**_

"_**I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds about your modeling contract." Elena was the only person that knew I had been signed by a modeling agency in New York. In a few short months, I was going to fulfill all my dreams and I planned to take Elena with me. No way I was leaving her behind when my life was about to take off. I was making arrangements to make sure baby brother would tag along as well. The three musketeers wouldn't be separated.**_

* * *

"Why are you here Damon? You've been gone four years. Running back to daddy for more money?" Stefan asks the pugnaciousness practically dripping off each word. His harsh words snap me back to reality and remind me I never made it to New York. From the looks of things, Elena and Stefan made it without me as my life was forced to take a very different path and I had to forgo my dreams.

"How's Elena?" I look across the room at him with I can only imagine is a devious twinkle in my eye as I pour two fingers of whiskey into a glass swirling the amber liquid in the glass. Stefan's attitude just makes me want to push every one of his buttons.

"Stay away from her Damon. You're leaving hurt a lot of people and I was left to have to pick up the pieces. I won't have you just waltzing back into our lives like you were away on some holiday and hurting everyone all over again." Stefan's hands were flexing into fists. I know he is talking about himself as much as Elena hurting when I left. The reason they think I left would have hurt them in the worst possible way as it was meant to.

They probably both despise me. Frankly I despise me a little too. That I was too weak back then will be something that haunts me. The memories of that time have me unconsciously fidgeting and the feel of my shirt across my skin heightens my self-loathing. I want to ask Stefan how Elena truly is, not taunt him about her. I can't just be honest and say "Congratulations, I'm happy for you about the upcoming wedding." Nope, Damon the fuck-up has to push buttons, cajole, and hit below the belt. I can see why no one ever thought I was good enough for Elena.

"I'll ask you again, Damon. Why are you here?"

"That's for me to know and you to dot, dot, dot." With a final sneer I march away from Stefan up the stairs to see what has become of my old room.

As soon as I hit the top of the stairs I hear the front door slam closed. A snort of derision escapes. I didn't expect it to be a friendly reunion, but I was hoping he would at least look like he missed me a little. At least I accomplished one thing….word will soon be all over town that Damon Salvatore is back. Let's see who crawls out of the woodwork to great me.

**A/N: I know what you're all thinking. She's a liar! She said last chapter this wasn't a triangle story yet it seems to be a triangle story. Stay with me a little longer...that's all I'll say. Please leave a review!**

**Follow me on twitter: wolverine_999**

**Or read my original story on wattpad. Author name: wolverine99 (same as on fanfiction).**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I changed things up a little for this chapter and we have Elena's point of view. Next chapter will go back to Damon. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 4  
**

**Elena's POV**

_Where are you Jeremy?  
_

I have been asking myself this on an endless loop. Jeremy has been missing for 16 days. Sixteen days of not knowing where he is. Sixteen days of worrying, trapped in a nightmare I have no hope of waking from. My mom, Uncle John, Stefan, Caroline, probably the whole town thinks he ran away. I know better. Jeremy wouldn't leave without telling me. He wouldn't risk all of our plans by running away now.

Looking down at the phone in my hands I will it to ring with a call from Jeremy or at least a call from Mr. Saltzman. He is supposed to be able to find the unfindable and since the police are treating this as a runway case they are doing nothing. Sheriff Forbes just gives me a sympathetic smile, says she'll keep an eye on his bank card and he'll come back when the teen angst of the moment recedes. Sheriff Forbes can be a tad condescending at times...like now.

I've exhausted every place I can think of in town where he could be hiding. I've talked to all of his friends, even those from his druggy days. Nothing. No one has seen or heard from him. No one knew of any plans to run away. His girlfriend, Anna, is just as baffled as me. I'm his big sister and I feel useless. It's my job to protect him and I failed. He's out there somewhere cold, alone, maybe hurt. Sitting on my window seat in my childhood bedroom, praying for his safe return, is as much good as I can do at the moment. My heart just aches, all I want is to crawl into bed and hide under the covers. Staying in bed until Jeremy comes home is so tempting. The feeling of the world collapsing in on me feels like...No!

I refuse to think back to when HE left. He didn't care about me or his brother enough to stay around so he doesn't deserve any of my thoughts. He deserves my anger and any belligerent words I can throw at him. Maybe a few slaps and a kick to his unmentionables would accompany those words. He didn't care that we were best friends and I depended on him. He didn't care that we talked about escaping this town, escaping his father and my mother. We planned to face the world together dragging our baby brothers along for the ride. Our dreams were bigger than life and we planned to risk it all to make sure we were happy. Money, power, prestige, they meant nothing to us. We grew up with all those things and we wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle once we were out on our own. He promised he would do whatever it took for me to have a better life than the one my mother wanted to force upon me. Damon Salvatore lied and broke his promise.

If my mother had her way, I would have been the next trophy wife for the first billionaire she found that expressed an interest in me. Ten mistresses, history of a bad temper….none of that mattered as long as she somehow benefited from the relationship. The town's vision for my future had me married to Stefan Salvatore. The merging of founding families producing future generations of Mystic Falls children to continue the towns' traditions was all the old ladies of the sewing guild could talk about. Unfortunately for my mother and the town my marriage fantasies were more focused on the elder Salvatore instead of the younger. But I was young and naïve thinking everyone marries the man of their dreams and gets a happy ending.

I blamed myself for a long time after he left. He was so desperate for love and I stupidly withheld it from him. Despite all our talk about being fearless and taking whatever risks were necessary to be happy, I let fear rule my life. I kept my love for him buried deep inside. He was always honest with me about his feelings yet I clung to his brother like a lifeline because he was the safer choice. I knew loving Damon would either be the thing of fairy tales or would destroy my already scarred and battered soul. I wasn't willing to take the risk. The irony is that as much as I looked to Stefan, it was always Damon that threw me the buoy to keep me afloat. That was why it devastated me when it turned out that Damon was a hypocritical sell-out leaving town for a chunk of his father's money. It look me a long time to stop blaming myself and realize that I didn't deserve to be abandoned. After all we had been through he just left me to deal with everything. My father's death, Uncle John butting into my life and everything that has rained down on me these last four years.

I want to return to when I was a little girl and my dad was alive. A time when my mom at least pretended to love us. When my only care in the world was how to convince my dad to take me and Jeremy for ice cream. I would give anything to be that carefree. That's not reality. Reality is fake smiles and telling people your fine when you really just want to run down the street screaming and tearing your hair out. Reality is a perfect outfit and the appearance of success despite watching all your dreams wither and die.

A knock on my bedroom door breaks me out of my depressive thoughts. John opened the door and I narrow my eyes automatically at him. Why my dad left his younger brother as trustee of the estate until we came of age, I will never know.

Uncle John. He left town not long after I was born, but he made his annual pilgrimage back to Mystic Falls. Usually his visit coincided with the Miss Mystic Falls competition when the entire town gathered. He swooped in, reminded the town he was a devoted member of the Gilbert family only to leave and not be heard from until the next year. Uncle John always creeped me out. He always paid a little too much attention to me. A little too interested in what I was doing, who my friends were, and how I spent my time.

The only saving grace to Uncle John's entrance into our lives was my mother's departure from it. Just like the rest of us, my mother wanted out of this town and she saw her husband's death as the perfect opportunity to leave. Somehow she managed to leave us yet the town applauded her for not depriving us a chance to remain in our childhood home. My mother missed her calling as an actress.

Since my mother was stuck in our little town she decided to be queen bee of it. Part of her image was having the perfect family. Once dad was too sick to really take care of us, mom decided we were undisciplined and needed to be brought to heel. Her words not mine. Dad was too sick to see what mom was doing. She was shrewd enough to know we would never want to upset our father and she used that fact to her full advantage to control every aspect of our lives. Damon was always the wild card and the one area in which I defied her.

"What do you want Uncle John?" My attention quickly left him to drift back to my phone. My prayers were said even more in earnest for Jeremy's return so we could leave this town and our so called family behind.

"It's time to stop moping. Jeremy will come home when he's ready Elena. Your birthday is next week and only a month until the wedding. You have obligations to attend to. One if which is your company downstairs." Uncle John's brusque tone grated on my nerves. Shoving back the response that would most likely be scathing I chose to simply nod. Shoving my phone in my pock, I uncurled my body from the window seat to head downstairs.

My assumption is Caroline will be waiting downstairs brimming with new ideas for the wedding. She forced me to go to lunch today to work on wedding plans and threatened to come back over if I didn't get to work on the seating chart. Of course I haven't even started it. I love Caroline but there is only so much of her I can take when she is in party planning mode. Thoughts of the wedding have me looking down at the ostentatious ring currently adorning my finger. The diamond is way too big and I hate wearing it but my fiancé gets that kicked puppy face and or the jealous face if I leave it off. He believes the size of the rock demonstrates how much he loves me. I classify it more as showing how many millions he has in the bank and that it photographs well in the media. I've been having second thoughts about this wedding for a while. With Jeremy's disappearance, getting married is the last thing I want to do. I refuse to get married without him. I am not looking forward to that conversation.

I entered the living room to see Mason Lockwood sitting on my couch. As always his curly brown hair is impeccable combed, not a stray strand to be seen. The black pin striped suit fits him like a glove. He looks every bit the upcoming politician with his nose buried in his blackberry. There are days I want to rip that thing out of his hand and smash it against the wall.

"I didn't expect you back in town today." I have to fight down the hope that his visit means he found something about Jeremy. I begged him to use his political contacts to expand the search for my brother. He promised he would see what he could to do.

"The Governor is going to endorse my for the senate seat and wants to do the announcement in my hometown surrounded by friends, family and constituents." Figures he is here for his career and not for me. Mason was running for the Virginia state senate. He sees it as the first step on the way to the White House. Mason is very determined and always gets what he wants and being leader of the free world is what he wants.

Before I could respond, a knock sounds at the door. I can't explain why, but that knock feels like a death knell. As I open the door to find a very anxious looking Stefan on my doorstep, I know my life is about to get very complicated.

"Can I come in?" Stefan asks nervously. I simply move aside and he shuffles into the living room giving a brief nod to Mason. Stefan has been working on Mason's campaign why he takes a year off before medical school. It was an odd pairing but the success of Mason's campaign proves it to be a fruitful partnership.

Stefan just stood there looking at his feet not saying a word. All you can hear is the click of his dress shoes on the hardwood floor as he shifts his weight back and forth. The odd silence even caused Mason to look up and stare at him.

"Spit it out Stefan" Mason commands in the way only Mason can and not have people think he is a jerk.

Stefan slowly raises his eyes locking on mine. "Damon's back."

I have imagined this scenario many times and in my head I always envisioned all hell breaking loose at the news of Damon's return. The calm that permeates the room feels like a transcendent experience. No yelling, swearing, or slamming doors. Just silence which is very surreal. The only movement is Mason reaching out and taking my hand. I look up at him and I briefly see a hint of panic before a look of compassion crosses his face. He reaches out and places his hand on Stefan's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"This will be a hard time for you with him having been gone so long. He was a bastard for the way he left and I'm sure he will try to worm his way back into your good graces. If there is anything you need, I'm always here." I fight the temptation to roll my eyes. This is politician Mason at his finest. He has always been good at faking empathy.

"Thanks Mason," Stefan responds quietly. His eyes meet mine and I can see he wants to say something and I pray he doesn't. The last thing I am prepared to discuss right now is Damon Salvatore especially with Mason in the room. There is no love lost between the two of them.

"Do you know why he is back?" Mason asks. His tone is surprisingly light with only a hint of curiosity.

Stefan's face scrunches in frustration. "My brother is enigmatic as ever and wouldn't say."

Some kind of silent conversation that I don't understand seems to occur between the two men. Whatever the conclusion of the exchange, it has Stefan rushing for the door saying he would talk to us later. As the door clicked closed, the only sound I could hear was the rushing of blood in my ears as my heart beat out a staccato rhythm trying to process the last five minutes.

A quick pull on my wrist has me face to face with Mason Gone is the sympathetic look and his eyes are filled with the anger.

"You are not to see him. You are not to talk to him. You are not even to breathe the same air as Damon Salvatore." He leans forward letting his over six foot tall frame loom over me.

"It's a small town Mason, I can't help it if we run into each other. Trust me, I have no plans to seek him out." Damon made his choice to leave and if he thinks he can just pick up like he was on vacation he is in for a rude awakening.

"But he'll seek you out. That boy loves chaos and inflicting pain. You," he points an accusatory finger in my direction, "will be his first target."

Trying to extricate myself from Mason's grip, I feel my anger rising. I hate when he manhandles me. "Please don't make it sound like you are trying to protect me Mason. You're just worried about how this will look in the press."

"Yes, I'm worried. I was there when he left Elena. When all your friends, even you're beloved Stefan, left you to go live their own lives I was there. I picked up the pieces and put you back together. If we let Damon back into our lives he will try and destroy us. Our entire future rides on this election and I won't have some blast from the past coming in and screwing it up. Nor will I have the wedding postponed because the bride has concerns over her runaway brother or repressed feelings for the guy that abandoned her." He squeezes my wrist tighter, ignoring my protests, emphasizing his point.

I couldn't hold back the gasp of both pain and shock at this words. I don't know how he figured out my doubts. Only Jeremy and my diary know of them. Guess I'm not as good at hiding my feelings as I thought. Mason was clear about the timing of the wedding. He explained the date was paramount as it would maximize his bounce in the poles leading into the election. There was no room for error or movement of the date. I didn't want to jeopardize his future but Jeremy had to be my first priority

"Mason you're hurting me." He squeezes even tighter for a moment before finally letting go. I open my mouth to explain but he continues his tirade.

"I've been the only one there for you over the years Elena, you can't abandon me now." His voice is harsh and demanding. Closing his eyes briefly, his voice grows softer and he strokes my cheek gently as he continues. "I have powerful connections Elena and those connections will grow after I'm elected. Nothing we have done so far has turned up any hint of where Jeremy is. We need more help to find him, if we move forward with the wedding and get me elected, we'll have that help."

I simply nod rubbing at my wrist fighting back the tears. What he is saying is true. Everyone in my life left me, all except Mason. Despite always being there, times like this have me thinking I would have been better off alone. Every once in a while Mason drops the fake smiles, fake compassion and I see what's buried underneath. Its possessive, it's ugly and it scares me. In those moments, I am an object and not one that is cherished. The feeling that this marriage is a mistake has been a small nagging voice in the back of my mind, but in this moment it is a screaming banshee that dares me to ignore her. If I back out now I destroy Mason's future. I destroy any help he can help to provide Jeremy. Despite my reservations, Mason is right. He has been there for me when everyone else left me behind. It would be wrong to abandon him now. I will push my doubts aside and move forward being at Mason's side as he has been at mine.

Damon Salvatore irrevocably changed my life once. My heart weeps that he is about to do it again and I may not survive it this time.

**A/N: See….not a triangle story. Mason is the fiancé and Damon has it totally wrong! A lot of you may be hating Elena at the moment and thinking she is weak. This is just the first glimpse into what her life has been like since Damon left. More to come! Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Back to Damon's POV. Happy Reading!**

**Chapter 5**

The second I set foot in the_ Mystic Grille_, I feel all eyes on me.

_The old biddies worked even faster than I thought._

It's been less than 24 hours since revealing myself to Stefan and the whole town knows the not-so-prodigal-son has returned. Cue evil villain laugh. A glance across the crowded restaurant and I see Alaric perched on a stool like he's been coming here for years. He's your proverbial Norm in any bar he enters. Claiming the stool next to him, I see him leafing through a stack of papers arranged in brightly colored folders. To the untrained eye, it probably looks like research for his book. I know it's actually background information on anyone having contact with Jeremy.

After ordering us a round of drinks, Alaric turns to look at me. "You could have told me you grew up in the real life version of Days of Our Lives. Is there anyone in this town that doesn't have some sort of skeleton in their closet?"

"Shame on you Alaric, my fantasy of being Bo Brady was supposed to be a secret." Alaric lets out a disgruntled snort.

Double checking that no one is paying us any attention, Alaric starts speaking in hushed tones. "From what Elena said, the kid disappeared the day before he turned 18. Who runs away the day before their birthday? There is no trace of him so either this is one smart kid or we really do have a case on our hands."

Alaric's instincts are screaming that there is more to the story that what Elena is telling him. Originally he thought she was in denial that Jeremy had run away, but most runaways leave a trail of their departure. If there is no sign of Jeremy something definitely happened to him.

"Tell me about the family. What won't turn up in here?" Alaric taps the background file sitting in a stack on the bar. I pick up the file on Grayson Gilbert, purposely avoiding Elena's. The less I know about her the better.

I read through the history of the Gilberts and see that Alaric has all the pertinent details. Grayson's illustrious medical career as a cardiac surgeon in LA and New York is well documented. Alaric also found Grayson's patent for some cardiac device I never really understood, but it makes the already endowed Gilbert fortune solvent for generations of future baby Gilberts. Lastly, Alaric outlined the marriage to Miranda Summers. The only child of Fell's Church wealthy mayor.

What the file didn't show was what a great father Grayson was, or his generosity, or that he died well before his time. I should hate the man but he is a part of some of my best memories after my mother died. If I ever become a father, maybe I would make the same choices as him. I wasn't his son and he had to put his own family first over some punk kid with daddy issues.

"What about the mom? From the looks of things she is no longer a town resident, but is living off of daddy's money." Alaric quirks an eyebrows looking for further explanation.

How does one summarize the mega bitch that is Miranda Gilbert? Even thoughts of the woman have me wanting to go on a murderous rampage. Miranda never seemed to accept Grayson giving up his practice and the high life of New York and LA. Being the wife of the town doctor was beneath her in her own grand opinion. She missed her calling as an actress because that woman had a cast of characters to play at her disposal and had everyone wrapped around her little finger.

"Let's just say Miranda makes Mommy Dearest look like a saint." The only positive that came out of my experience four years ago was that Miranda was gone from Jeremy and Elena's lives.

Alaric shifts uncomfortably in his seat, "Physical?"

"Physical abuse was about the only thing she spared them. She was brazen enough to parade her affairs right in front of them. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, total domination of their lives." I hold up my hand to stay the question I know is about to tumble from his lips.

"I'm sure you saw from your research that Grayson had Lou Gehrig's disease. Having ALS means you're sick. Like in and out of the hospital bed bound kind of sick. It all went on right under his nose. Miranda kept a tight reign over who saw him so no one could tell him the truth." The thoughts of the mental mind fucks Miranda subjected Jeremy and Elena to have me ordering another drink. I made it a double, the alcohol hopefully will numb the ire that still burns in me.

"Jeremy and Elena only really had each other. If, _if_ he was going to run it would have been years ago. Not now when he's on the brink of manhood and mommy is out of the picture." There is no way Jeremy would have run out and left Elena behind. The kid had his selfish, look at me _I'm all emo moments_, but when it came to his sister he was as loyal as they come.

"What about John Gilbert?" Alaric slides another file over to me and I greedily grab it.

"Please tell me that douchebag isn't around." If he's back in town that means things are even more fucked up than I thought. You can't trust John Gilbert any farther than you can throw him. Grayson and John were not exactly close and that guy was always a little too interested in Elena for my liking. Shit, the information Alaric gathered shows he's been here since Grayson's death. After staying away for years why would he come back to Mystic Falls?

"He became guardian of the Gilbert kids when mom left town," Alaric states as he swirls his drink.

John just shot to the top of my list of people to dig into. There is no way John came back out of the goodness of his own heart. If he's still in Mystic Falls there was a reason that would only have benefited John Gilbert.

"So we ruled out he's a runaway. Which means foul play is involved. No activity on the credit card, no unusual withdrawals, only a minor drug charge when he was 13."

I couldn't hold back the chuckle. I bailed Jeremy out on behalf of Grayson when he been arrested smoking a joint when he was in middle school. At the time, the Gilbert patriarch treated me like another son and I was sent out to fetch the youngest Gilbert. He thought he was badass. I begged to differ. Let's just say Jeremy gave up his pothead ways not long after he and I had a little talk.

"No ransom, no body. It's as if the kid fell off the face of the earth." Alaric and I continue to discuss Jeremy's case and putting together lists of people to interview. I also helped prep him for a meeting he scheduled for later that day with Elena. I just finished ordering another round when I hear a familiar voice.

"Whiskey, neat." I roll my eyes before turning to the corner of the bar. Stefan.

"Brother." I raise my glass in a mock toast.

"Why are you here Damon? You should have never come back. You have to know you're not wanted here." At least he gets straight to the point. Anger is written all over his face and sadly enough it makes me want to pull him into a hug. He's my little brother and I never wanted him to look at me like I was the enemy. I want to tell him he has it all wrong. That I had no choice and was trying to protect them. There are so many things I wish he knew, wish I could explain. What would be the repercussions of confessing now? No, it's not worth the risk. Even if I could tell him the truth, with the look on his face, I doubt he'll ever listen or believe me.

Reaching out and squeezing his shoulder I feign a hurt expression, which really isn't so feigned. "Your words wound me brother. This is my hometown, can't I just come home for a visit?"

"That's just it, nothing is _just anything_ with you. You'll never change Damon. If you're here it's to cause trouble and someone will end up getting hurt." Stefan raises his glass to take a drink and I couldn't help but notice his hand shaking and his pupils are dilated. I realize then that Stefan's demons ran much deeper than I ever suspected. All the work I did to help him when he was a teenager was for nothing. He is a still just a junkie looking for his next fix.

I grasp his hand, stopping the drink from reaching his lips. The rattle of the ice rings like a gong between us. "Looks like you haven't changed much either brother." Stefan jumps from his seat taking a step towards me when suddenly a hand springs between us.

"You must be Damon's brother. I'm Alaric Saltzman. It's nice to meet you." Alaric keeps his hand extended between Stefan and me, a smile adorning his face. _Ah, Alaric. Ever the peacemaker._

Stefan's manners are still second nature to him. His impending attack on me forgotten, he grasps Alaric's hand firmly giving it a shake and introduces himself. "Who are you and what association do you have with my brother?"

"History. This place is ripe with history. It's like a historian's wet dream. Since Damon is from here, I hired him to be my guide as I do research for my next book."

I lean against the bar a smug smile on my face. Let's see Stefan keep reaming me while facing down Dumbledore at my side. Alaric launches into a long preamble about his book and the historical significance of the area. I'm sure there is more to the conversation but I tune out. When Alaric goes all history professor he turns into the teacher from Charlie Brown.

As the conversation winds down Stefan finishes his drink and throws some money on the bar. As he stands he leans in close. "Stay away from Elena, Damon." With those parting words he leaves, but I'm sure little brother won't have gone far.

"Your brother is…."

"A pompous ass," I finish for him.

"Not my first choice of words, but it works."

* * *

Alaric slides into a booth, his body sagging slightly from exhaustion. Stefan was only the first of the Mystic Falls welcoming wagon. Over the last hour we've been barraged by people offering me a not so friendly welcome home. The only upside was seeing the single women of Mystic Falls fawn all over Alaric. They became especially rabid when they found out he was a published author. The meat market is open and Alaric is a piece of filet mignon.

Alaric glances at his watch and then nervously at the door as he sips his drink. I purposely sat with my back to the door. The better to surprise our client.

"You don't have to stay you know." There is pity in Alaric's eyes. I hate pity.

"And miss all the fun?" I say sarcastically. I place my boot clad feel on the seat next to him crossing them at the ankles. I'm going for relaxed and confident when in reality my insides are screaming at me to hide under the table.

"Sometimes you forget what we do Damon. You want everyone to think you're a dick, which you can be by the way, but I see and understand more than you let on. Your drunken confession was only told part of the story, wasn't it?" I see his eyes drift down my body before returning to meet my eyes. Damn Alaric. His Sherlock Holmes routine is not appreciated at the moment.

"If you're down with the psycho-analysis bullshit, maybe we can get back to the case at hand." Deflection you are my friend.

"Whatever you did four years ago, you did for them didn't you? Why not tell them the truth instead of letting them hate you for it?" Leave it to Alaric to see through my crap. He's one of the few who can.

"You said it yourself. I'm a dick. I'm a selfish prick and my only motivation for my actions is so I come out on top." What Alaric doesn't understand is that I need them to hate me. Maybe if they hate me enough, a small part of me will hate them too. Then I can finally move forward with my life.

Alaric's hand gently caresses the stack of folders in front him and he seems to be wrestling with something internally. "Damon you should know. Elena. Elena's engagement…."

Whatever Alaric was about to say about Elena and my brother's engagement dies on his lips and his eyes widen slightly as he looks over my shoulder. His reaction can only mean one thing. Elena's arrived. I refuse to turn around giving away how eager I am to see her.

"Mr. Saltzman, it's good to see you again…." Elena's voice trails off as her eyes move from my boots up to my face. All I want is to pull her into my arms, feel her warmth and inhale her sent. I don't. Keeping a smirk on my face, I fix my gaze on her and see the emotions rollercoaster from shock to pain to hatred in the span of a nanosecond.

"Aren't you going to welcome me home, princess?" I spread my arms wide but stay rooted to my seat, drink still in hand.

Elena wordlessly raises her hand. I know what she is about to do but refuse to stop it. The slap doesn't come as a surprise but that does nothing to lessen its sting as I feel my head rock to the side. Elena was always much stronger than she looked.

"It seems you know my partner," Alaric quips and I shoot him a glare.

Elena turns on her heel to face Alaric. "Mr. Saltzman, I'm sure you have my address. Please stop by whenever you are done entertaining this self-serving sociopath. I'll be more than happy to conduct our meeting at a later date." With those words she storms out. Alaric gave me _the look_ and I begrudgingly follow her.

Once on the sidewalk I see her storming down the street. I amble slowly behind calling after her. "Going to run all the way back to New York? Oh how times have changed. The Elena I remember never ran from a fight!"

Hands clasped behind my back, I continue to stroll down the sidewalk. I hold back a laugh at the speed my words cause Elena to come charging back towards me. Again I see the slap coming but catch her hand before she makes contact. I gave her the first one because in her eyes I'm sure I deserved it, but I refuse to endure a second. Pulling her hand against my chest, I can't help but caress it gently. Her breath shudders slightly at the contact. In this moment the rest of the world falls away and it's only me and the woman I love. Even in anger she is the most beautiful thing to behold. Anger is almost as becoming on her as when she smiles, but I doubt I will experience that anytime soon so I will take what I can get.

"Go to hell Damon. I don't have time for whatever game you're playing. My brother is missing and that man in there is my only hope of finding him," she hisses at me low enough for only my ears.

"Since you were too busy throwing a hissy fit, maybe you missed the part where Alaric said I was his partner. I'm here to find Jeremy Elena. Get out of town and go back home Elena. I will bring Jeremy to you." Tears instantly fill her eyes. With her head shaking she attempts to pull away from me.

Her anger quickly takes over again, the tears drying up as she straightens her spine. Her telltale sign that she about to go on another diatribe. "I am HOME Damon. Not everyone has their dreams handed to them on a silver platter and repeatedly walks away. Football, a full scholarship, a degree. You gave them all up. I don't see your face plastered on billboards or the sides of buses to I am guessing modeling got too hard and you walked away from that too." Ouch, she is hitting below the belt with this purge of pent-up rage.

"Well some of us worked our asses off for our dreams and still couldn't achieve them. Some of us were left behind while everyone else ran off to live their lives!" Her chest is heaving and by the end she was yelling loud enough to attract attention.

I just stare at her stunned and confused. People are stopping to gawk but I could care less as my world is turning upside down in this moment. How is it possible Elena never went to New York? I saw the evidence of her going. The acceptance letter, the scholarship, the notice in the paper, her name on the list of enrolled students.

"You never went to New York?" I dumbly ask. Elena never answers as I feel a presence behind us.

"Is there a problem here?" If my life were a comic book that voice would belong to my arch nemesis, Mason Lockwood. He was a year ahead of me in school and seemed to be in perpetual competition with me. He was the town's golden boy, revered even more than my saintly brother. I let Elena step away from me as I turn to face him.

"Elena and I are just catching up on old times. So run along and save a cat from a tree or whatever else you town heroes like to do." The snark in my tone is thick as is the loathing I have for him. I start to turn back to face Elena when I feel a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I have a thing about being touched especially by low-life scumbags like Mason Lockwood.

"If you want to catch up with my _fiancé_, how about we all go back inside for a drink." Mason has a smug look on his face.

It takes a second for his words to sink in and hear his emphasis on the word fiancé. I look at Elena who is studying the ground like it is the most fascinating thing in the world. "You're marrying Mason Lockwood?" I ask skeptically. Elena simply nods refusing to meet my eyes for the first time.

The little piece of my heart that had endured all these years shatters. I had survived all this time knowing what happened so long ago was for Elena. So she could have a better life and my brother was getting the woman of his dreams. I was naive enough to think that I gave them their happy ending at nearly the cost of my life and most definitely at the cost of my dreams. Now I find out Elena never went to New York, is marrying the scum of the earth and my brother is still a strung out drug addict. In that moment, I prove Elena right and do what I do best. I walk away.

**A/N: Finally Damon and Elena have seen each other. Not a joyous reunion but they at least have confronted each other. Probably the first of many. Lots more of this angsty ride to go. Please leave a review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Another trip down memory lane. The bold/italic font are events that occurred in the past. Non bolded text is current time. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 6**

_**I sat in my Camaro watching Elena for the longest time as she followed all of Caroline's instructions. The homecoming dance was only a week away and Mystic Falls' seniors were scurrying to complete the preparations. Caroline was in her glory ordering around her minions to complete the homecoming float that sat in front of the school. Elena looked miserable making tissue paper flowers and angrily tossing them into a pile. She finally separated herself from the group, walking around to the parking lot of the high school and I decided this was the perfect opportunity to kidnap her.**_

_**I rolled the window down, resting an arm on the door, the other hand on the wheel. "Hey little girl, I have candy" I sing songed as I slowed the Camaro to a crawl and pulled alongside her.**_

_**The glare sent my way would melt a glacier. "That is not happiness to see me is it?" It was a bad Gwyneth Paltrow impersonation but usually throwing movie quotes at her put a smile on Elena's scowling face. Not this time.**_

_**"Go away Damon!" Elena said in exasperation as she walked a bit faster.**_

_**I threw the car in park and chased after her. Gently grasping her arm, I spun her around to face me. "Are you alright?" I squatted down so I could look into her eyes.**_

_**She attempted to wipe away the tears so I wouldn't see but I didn't miss them. I never missed her tears as each felt like a knife to the heart. "I'm fine," Elena muttered.**_

_**'I'm fine,' the biggest lie in creation. Nine times out of ten when someone utters that damnable phrase you know they are anything but fine. With a huge sigh I know it's going to take some cajoling to get the truth out of her and that wasn't going to happen in the parking lot of the high school. Somehow I managed to wrestle her into the Camaro protesting and fighting the entire time because Elena never does anything the easy way. She didn't say a word the entire time we drove. Just stared out the window watching the world go by.**_

_**I took her to the one place that weirdly enough seemed to bring her peace. The cemetery. I caught her writing in her journal here enough to even know her favorite spot. We walked amongst the headstones stopping between the Salvatore and Gilbert mausoleums. They held the remains of the founding family members and were situated in the middle of the cemetery in places of honor with the other founding families.**_

_**"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I gave her a shoulder bump not liking her intense silence. I pulled her down to sit on the grass next to me and endured the tortuous silence some more.**_

_**Elena just stared off into the distance. She turned her head as if studying something. Following her gaze I saw that she was staring at a crow. Elena always had been a sucker for birds.**_

_**"Most people hate crows. They think they're a bad omen. A harbinger of death." A bit of a non sequitur but I'm assuming there must be a point to her little speech about the creepy bird flitting from headstone to headstone.**_

_**"It's a bird, like any other." Now she was creeping me out as she just kept watching it.**_

_**"No, it's not like any other bird. It's beautiful. You never see a crow in a gilded cage on display. You don't see them being trained and used for entertainment. They go where they want. They do what they want." Elena said her voice hollow.**_

_**I hated the forlorn look on her face. She just looked sad and defeated. "Elena, what's really going on?"**_

_**Her head dropped and she started playing with the hem on her jeans. "She was gloating. Gloating that when he's gone I'll be her golden ticket and would give her the life my father refused her."**_

_**Miranda the wicked witch of Mystic Falls. That woman becoming a mother was a crime against humanity. She still resented Grayson for wanting to be in Mystic Falls to raise their kids instead of living in LA or New York. I hold Elena against my chest wrapping my arms around her wishing I could shield her from the harsh realities of the world. We're kindred spirits. Each knowing the pure love of a parent taken to soon then left to the whims of a parent that despised us. Even though Grayson's still alive, his illness has prevented him from the parent Elena needed to keep Miranda at bay.**_

_**"What did I promise Elena?" I whispered into her hair.**_

_**"That you would do you anything to make things better for me, Stefan, and Jeremy. We wouldn't be left to my mother." She stuttered out between shaking breaths as she fought to keep the tears in check.**_

_**Elena dreamed of going to New York and becoming a writer. She doubted her writing abilities and with a mother constantly calling her writing 'drivel' it's understandable. I actually applied to a prestigious writing program on her behalf. She was pissed, but if she gets in her anger will have been worth it. We were waiting to hear if she was accepted and waiting has been torture. Stefan was accepted early admission to Columbia and Giuseppe was beaming with pride checkbook in hand to pay for his tuition. A modeling job was lined up for me next month and if it goes well it would mean a lucrative contract that could support myself, Jeremy and Elena. I have no idea if Grayson was leaving anything to the kids directly or if Miranda convinced him to leave it all to her with false promises of providing for them. I needed contingency plans since I only assumed Miranda wouldn't give her children a cent if they up and left. I was just hoping Miranda didn't fight to keep Jeremy in order to keep Elena near her.**_

_**I felt her shaking and quaking in my arms. It was a valiant fight but the tears were finally winning. "I heard the doctor talking to my mother." Elena practically spat out the word mother like it was poison. "He only has weeks left Damon. He's my dad. I don't want to lose him."**_

_**Finally the crux of the problem. Years of waiting knowing the end was coming and it was almost here. For so long she had repressed how dire the circumstances were, repressed the pain and grief of knowing her dad would be gone much too soon. Now it was overwhelmingly real.**_

_**"You are surrounded by people who love you Elena. Lean on us, just this once," I whispered willing the truth from my words to flow into her. Ever since her dad became ill, she took on the role of parent to Jeremy and caretaker to Grayson. The weight of the world sat on her shoulders and she refused to share the burden with anyone else.**_

_**I don't know how long she sobbed but I just gently rocked her and murmured nonsense words in her ear. There were no real words of comfort in a time like this but just the knowledge that I was there hopefully offered some solace. Eventually the sobs died away and her breathing evened out. She had cried herself to sleep against me. She stayed asleep as I hiked out of the cemetery carrying her bridal style. I managed to get her home and into bed without waking her. The site of her laying in her bed, hair spread along the pillow was beautiful. I gently stroked her cheek kissing her softly on the lips whispering how much I loved her and quietly left. The peace that alluded her wake found her in sleep.**_

_**The house was silent as I left her bedroom. As I walked down the hall the master bedroom door was open. Grayson was propped up in his hospital bed, the ventilator making whooshing sounds breathing for him since Grayson lost that ability weeks ago. For the first time ever he was alone in his room and his eyes were open. Taking advantage knowing this might the only chance to tell Grayson the truth about Miranda, I quickly entered.**_

_**Double checking Miranda wasn't going to pop out of a closet metaphorical pitchfork in hand, I realized the coast was clear. If there was a way to get Miranda out of their lives I would do whatever was necessary. I strode to Grayson's bedside. He was pale and his once toned physique looked shriveled and withered. But his eyes, his eyes were still full of life and wonder. Eyes the same as Elena's chocolate brown that gave away every emotion he felt the instant he felt it. He watched me as I entered the room. His eye movements were the only real body function he could control. **_

_**Before I could open my mouth a voice began to speak, "Need talk Damon. Little time," the computer generated voice demanded.**_

_**Miranda had fought getting Grayson any kind of communication aid when he lost his ability to speak. I eventually stole my dad's credit card and ordered a speech generating device, a computer that responded to Grayson's eye movements then translated them into speech, which Elena had researched. He hadn't been using it very long and Elena said he couldn't always make full sentences so you sometimes had to read between the lines to figure out what he was trying to say. It frustrated him, but at least he could communicate better than before.**_

"_**Elena. New York." The computer translated.**_

"_**She's waiting to hear if she got in." I shifted nervously from foot to foot knowing time was limited. "Grayson, you should know," **_

"_**She in. Scholarship," Grayson interrupted.**_

_**I looked at him shocked. Elena hadn't mentioned anything, but this was great news.**_

"_**Doesn't know. Surprise." Elena mentioned she thought her bad was planning some kind of surprise for Homecoming. This must be it. I could see the pride in his eyes. He had always supported Elena in anything and everything she did.**_

"_**I'll keep it to myself. But tell her soon….you know me. Do first, think later. I may accidently blurt it out if I have to wait too long," I teased. **_

"_**Make her go. Jeremy?" Now his eyes seemed to be pleading with me. Since I was already going to be in New York, I could help Elena look after Jeremy while she goes to school.**_

"_**Jeremy won't get left behind Grayson. There'll be plenty of us to help watch over both of them. Plus Stefan just got accepted to Columbia." I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.**_

"_**Such a good boy," Grayson said.**_

"_**Yep, Stefan's a peach." I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. Everyone loved Stefan there was no denying that.**_

_**Grayson's eyes were clouded in frustration then the computer suddenly started repeating, "good boy, good boy." Grayson kept looking at me like he had more to say. As I reached over to fix the computer the front door slammed closed and heavy footsteps were heading up the stairs. Knowing my time was up I turned back to Grayson.**_

"_**I can't explain it all now, but know that I would do anything for your daughter. I can't leave her with your wife will take her away by any means necessary. I will make sure Elena is far, far away from Miranda. She'll get to achieve all the things you want for her. It will take time, but Elena and Jeremy will be okay." The words were hasty and probably confusing but I hoped they gave him some reassurance that his children would be fine after his death. **_

"_**Safety. Key Lake House." Grayson said. I wasn't sure how Elena and Jeremy would be any safer at the Lake House. Miranda could easily follow them there. I wanted to ask him more but the footsteps were drawing closer.**_

_**Not wanting to risk Miranda taking out her anger at me being with her husband on Elena, I dashed out of the room in hopes of not being discovered and ran straight into Stefan. A moment of anger flashed across his face but it was replaced with his usually blank expression. Stefan the control freak even tried to control all of his emotions. **_

"_**What's up Steffie?" I asked in relief. Stefan knew how bad things were with Miranda so he wouldn't care if I had been speaking to Grayson. **_

"_**Elena left the float making party and I just wanted to check on her," Stefan said.**_

_**I peaked back into the master bedroom and saw that Grayson had fallen asleep. The smallest things tired him so there would be no chance to interrogate him about the Lake House. "Elena's asleep in her room. I'm heading home, do you want a ride?" I asked.**_

_**Stefan shook his head and headed into Elena's room. I just shrugged my shoulders and ran down the stairs to the Camaro. Once outside I saw John Gilbert parking his car in front of the house. He came into town for the Miss Mystic Falls competition the previous week and hadn't left yet. He scowled at me as I climbed into my car. I flipped him off with a smile and pealed out of the driveway.**_

* * *

Being in this cemetery is a hot bed of memories. I try to focus on the grass crunching under my feet to keep my mind from straying to the past like it has been since walking away from Elena. I stop dead in my tracks when I reach the plot I wanted. The headstone looked innocent enough which belied the lies and secret agenda of the man buried beneath it. I squat down to run my hands across the block lettering.

_Grayson Gilbert_  
_Friend, Husband, Father_

Standing back up, shoving my hands in the pocket of my leather jacket, I just stare transfixed at the words.

"You won." How sad is it that I'm talking to a headstone?

"You wanted me out of her life. Your errand boys made that perfectly clear. What was the message they delivered? Oh right, 'I won't watch Mystic Falls resident degenerate ruin Elena's life.' Friend my ass." I won't forget that recorded message for the rest of my life.

I know I could be a little high handed at times in Elena's life. She didn't always make the best decisions and I sometimes stepped in making a better decision on her behalf. I only ever did it because I loved her and wanted the best for her. Hell, as much as it killed me I stepped aside for Stefan as I thought he was better for her.

"Is this how you wanted things to end? All the things you wanted for her, all the things promised me. None of it happened." Rolling my shoulders, feeling my t-shirt rub against my skin, I try not to let my mind drift to far back to that time.

"She was with my brother I could have lived with that my entire life. You didn't need to rip us apart." Grayson had been one of the few people I trusted in my life. He acted as if he approved my friendship with Elena. The rest of the town hated that Elena kept me around as a friend. Everyone told her, and me, what a bad influence I was and she should have nothing to do with me. I think I was the one rebellious piece of her life and she refused to give me up.

"Please tell me you're not drunk in a cemetery?" Alaric's heavy footsteps move closer stopping my rant at the marble monument.

"Nope, but I can be if you're carrying." Hopping up on to Grayson's headstone my legs swinging, I flash him a wide grin.

Alaric is studying the headstone between my legs. Gesturing from the headstone to Alaric, "Where are my manners? Grayson Gilbert, Alaric Saltzman." Gesturing from Alaric back to the headstone, "Alaric, Grayson."

"I take it talking to Elena didn't go so well?" Alaric asks.

"You could have told me she was engaged to Mason fucking Lockwood. I thought she was marrying my brother." That statement made me sound like a petulant child. Fuck it, I feel like a petulant child at the moment.

"It was in the background check you refused to read," Alaric admonishes. Just what I need, the teacher voice.

"She never went to school in New York?" I ask hesitantly.

"No. She never even finished her senior year after her dad died, but she had enough credits to graduate. The following fall, she enrolled part-time at Whitmore College working towards an English degree." I just nod at the Information. She had the audacity to make a quip about failing to achieve her dreams despite hard work, when she turned down a full scholarship. The news about her getting into the writing program was in the paper. Hindsight is bitch and I now realize I should have kept tabs on her over the years. The only thing I checked on was school. I wanted proof that Grayson kept his promise and I saw her name was the on list of enrolled students. Why didn't she go? Stefan had a huge apartment that my dad paid for, big enough Jeremy. There was no reason to stay here.

"I take it there is no love lost between you and Mr. up-and-coming politician." Alaric as usual nails the truth straight away.

Erg, Mason Lockwood. God help his constituents if he wins. Alcohol is really required for this conversation. I reach out a hand and Alaric lets out a disgruntled sigh. He starts rummaging through his pockets and I love that he has the same alcoholic tendencies as me.

"Mr. I can do no wrong, protected on high by daddy the mayor. The guy could sell drugs to the sheriff and walk away scott-free. Mason and I have a love, hate relationship minus the love. He liked to lord his power and money over everyone. I felt it my civic duty to knock him down a peg or two from time to time." And keep them from hurting those I love.

How in the hell did Elena end up with Mason? He always epitomized everything she wanted to avoid in her life especially in someone she would tie her life too. She hated the guy growing up. I had to stop her from kicking his ass when she was fifteen after Caroline showed up at her door in tears. Mason offered Caroline five thousand dollars to dump his little brother, Tyler, because the progeny of the town sheriff wasn't good enough for a Lockwood. Then there was the summer I had to practically live at the Mystic Grille because Elena was protecting her friend Matt who was a frequent target of Mason's bullying. Pompous ass was Elena's name for Mason back then.

Alaric gets a triumphant look on his face and pulls out a flask from his inner pocket jacket. A sheet of paper flutters to the ground from the same pocket as the flask. He tosses me the flask and reaches down to snatch up the paper.

"What's that?" I ask after taking a drink. The burn of the whiskey feels like heaven doing down my throat.

Alaric begrudgingly hands me the paper. "One of the woman at the bar gave it to me."

I find that it's a flyer for the annual Founder's Day Party the next day. A party where the entire town would go especially those from the founding families. It's also a party where a politician would definitely show up and shake some hands.

"Feel like going to a party?" I ask waving the flyer in the air and I'm sure what must be a maniacal grin on my face.

"You have that look where you are about to do something stupid. You remember we're here to find Jeremy Gilbert, right?" Alaric holds out his hand and I toss the flask back to him.

I nod my head solemnly, "This is purely for investigative purposes."

Alaric shoots me a look that says 'yeah, right.' It seems convincing him will require a slightly different tactic. Alaric tips the flask back finishing its contents. His face falls in disappointment when he realizes it's empty.

"Open bar" I offer.

"I'm in." Alaric answers quickly.

This is going to be fun.

**A/N: A very hurt Damon, Team badass on the loose with an open bar...craziness will ensue! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter completed. We've recently moved to a new state, I'm job hunting, renovating our new house and the kids just started school. All of that has taken a toll on my muse as well as my free time. Things are settling into a routine so I should have more time to keep my updates on track. Thank you to everyone following and I apologize to those that left reviews that I haven't responded to yet. I value each and every one of your thoughts and I promise to be more diligent in responding going forward. Enough of my rambling, happy reading!**

**Chapter 7**

Alaric keeps pulling at his tie as we circle around to the back of the Lockwood Estate. Unfortunately for Alaric, the Founders Day event is black tie. Anything other than jeans and flannel shirts has Alaric fidgeting like a virgin teenage girl on prom night. Me, on the other hand, I make the monkey suit look good. Black jacket and pants, white french cuff shirt. You can't go wrong with the classics. Just a hint of rebellion as I go sans tie. Have to give the ladies a little flash of skin. I'm even wearing a set of cuff links with my initials on them Elena gave me when I graduated high school.

The Lockwoods have outdone themselves with the decor as always. A large white tent is set up on the grounds near the pool which is glittering with flowers and tea lights. Paper lanterns are strung along the inside of the tent giving off a warm glow over the crowds gathered. A band is playing at the far end of the tent and a few couples are on the dance floor. Scanning the crowd I see Elena getting a drink at the bar. Her beauty will never cease to amaze me. She's wearing an emerald green dress with a key hole showing just a hint of cleavage. Her hair hangs in loose waves, begging for my fingers to run through it.

Shit, I really need to tame these thoughts before Damon junior joins the conversation.

Alaric bumps my shoulder. "Can I trust you to behave?" I can see him staring at the bar having also spotted Elena.

"Me, cause problems?" I ask innocently.

"Just don't get arrested. I didn't bring bail money. Now, point me in the right direction," Alaric says scanning the rest of the crowd.

Alaric planned to talk to Jeremy's ex-girlfriend Vicki Donovan and Anna, his current girlfriend, to see if he can pry any information out of them. Other than generally causing mischief, my job for the evening was to pick Elena's brain about her brother.

The crowds were thick but it didn't take long to spot the blonde I needed. "Blonde cater waiter is Donovan. Anna is the short brunette in the red dress standing next to the band with her mother, Pearl." Alaric eyes the two girls closely before heading into the crowd.

As I walk towards the bar, Elena is facing away from me which allows me to sneak up behind her. As I step close, her phone starts to ring and I can see Mason's name on the screen. She promptly hits the ignore button. I silently fist pump that she is ignoring calls from the jackass.

"Hmmmmm...looks like trouble in paradise," I whisper in her ear.

Elena's body tenses against me as she shoves her phone into her small clutch. I let her wiggle away a step re-establishing her personal bubble and she confronts me stone faced.

"You've had your fun Damon. How about we just jump to the part where you leave, that's your MO, right?" I should be hurt by the words but I'm too engrossed in the fiery, feisty woman before me. Anger looks good on her. Wish it wasn't directed at me but I'll bask in it nevertheless. It would have been so easy for her to give up after everything her mother put her through compounded by her father's death. The woman I see before me does not seem to be a wallflower.

"Can't become predictable, now can I? Maybe I'll stick around and see the results of my fun and games first hand." I flash her a smirk.

Her fury is bubbling under the surface and I love it. The need to rile her up, release her passion and touch her is overwhelming. I grab her hand and start to pull her to the dance floor. A dance is the best I can do to scratch this itch of needing to be close to her again. She of course digs her heels in and refuses to follow.

"Damon, what are you doing?" Elena asks nervously glancing around. So far no one has noticed us.

"Dancing," I answer as if saying "duh!"

"No!" She hisses.

I turn back and step close to her. "You can quietly follow me to the dance floor, dance with me and avoid a scene. Or, you can let your proverbial hair down and throw the hissy fit you so desperately want to throw telling me to go to hell. I'll enjoy either option. It's your choice." I stand perfectly still waiting for her response.

Her eyes had snapped to mine at my last words. Choices, something so often in both our lives we lacked. The last 24 hours have had me questioning every decision I made four years ago. My decision making ability on a good day is spotty at best, let alone being a 20 year old kid asked to make life and death decisions. Even though I wasn't Elena's choice I always tried to do right by both her and Stefan. I only wish Grayson would have seen that and let us live our lives our own way.

Elena appears to make a decision, silently pulling me to the dance floor. Ever the good girl, she chose to avoid a scene.

"So you are going to be Mrs. Mason Lockwood? Is he everything you dreamed of and more?" No point in beating around the bush. Let's rip the band aid off and jump straight into the conversation that will satisfy my curiosity.

"You're here to do a job Damon. I refuse to discuss my past or my future with you. You gave up the right to that information when you thought money was more important than your friends and family," Elena grinds out through clenched teeth.

That is probably the hardest part of the lie around me leaving. To her I am just another sell out like so many in this town. Ironic that she is marrying the one person that epitomizes everything she always despised.

"Fine, how does Jeremy feel about you marrying the douchebag of the century?" I throw back at her. Her silence and the fact that she can no longer can look me in the eye speaks volumes. Could It be little brother did not approve of the pending nuptials?

"You have the length of this song to ask your questions?" She says feigning disinterest.

I blow out a puff of air. This not going the way I want it to go. "Did Jeremy have any enemies?"

"No, everyone loves Jeremy," Elena says as we turn around the dance floor.

"Any chance he was back on drugs?" I ask.

"He's been clean since the time you bailed him out," she says shaking her head.

I have to steel myself to ask the next question. Alaric's digging found a savings account that hasn't been touched since Jeremy disappeared. The account was sizable for a 17 year old kid.

"He had ten thousand dollars sitting in a savings account with regular deposits over the past year." I raise an eyebrow waiting on her explanation.

"Crap" she mutters her eyes dropping to our feet.

"Where did the money come from, Elena?" I pull her closer as we continue to dance hoping our proximity will force her to look at me again.

"I wanted him to leave. Friends of my dad's are in Colorado were willing to take him in, let him complete his senior year, then he could go to college out there. I had just finished getting everything organized. I planned to tell him on his birthday." Elena's body starts to tremble.

My hand is on a patch of bare skin from a cutout in the back of her dress. I start to rub my thumb across her soft skin hoping to sooth the shaking that seems to be overtaking her. "Where did the money come from? What was it for?" I ask softly.

"I don't know." Elena's voice trembles and she leans closer to me seeking comfort. It feels like Damon and Elena from when we were younger. For the moment she forgets she hates me. The smell of mango and vanilla hits my nose and it takes every ounce of self-control to fight back my lustful thoughts.

I lean in closer to whisper in her ear. "Did Mason know of your plan to send Jeremy away?"

Something smells off about this. I can't believe Elena would just send Jeremy away alone nor do I believe Jeremy would leave Elena behind. If we were in a cartoon this is the moment steam would have been coming out of her ears. My last question was obviously the wrong one as rage replaced the small connection we had a moment ago.

"Your job is to find Jeremy not look for any opportunity to bash one of the only people that has actually been a support for me over the years." Her tone is curt and something in her eyes tells me she didn't mean to say the last part. The little progress I made with her was just wiped out.

The song ends and Elena tries to pull away. The feeling of her in my arms is too right. It's peace. It's comfort. It was, is, an always will be worth dying for. Circumstances four years ago forced me to realize I was wrong for her and I left. I left to protect her and give her a beautiful life. She is not living a 'and they all lived happily ever after' life. I'm older, wiser, stronger. Her father is gone. This time I can protect her if any threat is still lingering from back then. If she doesn't love me, so be it, but I'll fight for her until there's nothing left to fight for.

"I'm here Elena. I came here to find Jeremy for you. You hired Alaric for a reason and we're a package deal. Hate me all you want but the fact is you need me." I manage to keep her in my arms despite her attempts to escape.

"I needed you four years ago, Damon. You're only here because I need Mr. Saltzman. Find Jeremy and get the hell out of my life," she says, venom dripping off each word as she disentangles herself from me.

The loss I feel with her no longer pressed against me is immediate. I snatch her wrist before she can get too far.

"Is there a problem here?" Damn it! Why does Mason have to intrude now?

Slowly I twist to face Mason keeping Elena at my side. Mason's body is strung tight with tension and he is flanked by two men. The one to his left is the shorter of the two with beady eyes, close cropped blonde hair and a slight build. The second man is slightly taller with curly blonde hair. He sports a smirk which I immediately want to punch off his face.

"Ah, trying to form a Chip 'N Dale group here in Mystic Falls, Mason? You know the ladies prefer their man meat a little more endowed if you know what I mean." I make a grand gesture to their nether regions and offer a lopsided grin.

The larger one steps forward but Mason puts his hand up stopping him. So that is the hot head. File that tidbit away for future reference. Mason also just confirmed that he is walking around with muscle in tow.

"Gentleman, this is Damon Salvatore. Excuse Damon's brutish behavior. Always being second best can wear on a person." Mason is wearing a fake look of pity which some day soon I will smack into next week. Elena draws in a sharp breath at Mason's comment, but she still steps to his side. Before I can interject a retort Alaric yet again cuts me off with benign pleasantries. He spoils all my fun.

"Ah, Alaric Saltzman. So you're the author that is the buzz of the town. It also seems we have you to _thank_ for bringing Mr. Salvatore back in our midst." On the word 'thank' Mason looks like he sucked on a lemon. We all know you hate me Mason. Be a man and admit it out loud.

"Mason Lockwood. Soon to be junior state senator of Virginia." Alaric shakes Mason's hand and does a quick assessment of the man.

Smarmy smile firmly in place, Mason gestures to the men around him. "These are some of my campaign staff, Kol and Klaus Mikaelson."

Alaric shakes each of their hands and continues to assess them. I didn't miss the bulge in each of their jackets concealing shoulder holsters and sidearms. Both of the brothers seem familiar, especially the one introduced as Kol. I just can't place him.

"Have we met before?" I direct my question to the younger brother.

"I never forget a face and I certainly don't recognize yours," Kol says curtly.

Damn, I know his guy from somewhere. It's right there and I just can't seem to grab it. I will have to do a background check on tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb and see if any clicks.

"You must be Elena Gilbert," Alaric reaches out to shake her hand.

"Soon to be Elena Lockwood," Mason says in a smug tone.

Elena shoots Mason a dirty look that he misses as his focus is solely on me. Idiot.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Saltzman." I will have to buy Alaric a drink later for not acknowledging Mason's comment about their engagement.

"Always nice to meet a fellow author. Some of the town's people say you can spin a yarn with the best of them." I glance at Alaric and mouth 'spin a yarn.' He gives a slight shrug. He is obviously winging this conversation and I'm unsure what he is digging for.

"Elena doesn't write anymore. Her focus is on the wedding and campaign which takes up all her free time," Mason says as he pulls her into his side even tighter.

She gives a sheepish smile at Alaric. What the hell? Writing was her passion. I hate Mason that much more for not making her dreams a priority. Five minutes ago she had no problem telling me to curl up and die. Now she is happy being arm candy and doing whatever her future hubby wants?

My gaze shifts to Elena who is yet again not meeting my eyes. "Bor-ring!" I drawl.

"God, your still a dick," Elena exclaims. Her eyes bug out probably at her own outburst. Her face turns ten shades of red. There's the girl I love.

"Elena," Mason says slowly and looks down at her as if she is an errant child.

I chuckle and shrug my shoulders slightly. "She's right. I am a dick."

"Anyway, I would love a second set of eyes on some of my work while I'm in town. I'm also looking for a local artist and I was told your brother is the man to talk to. Is he here tonight?" Alaric pretends to look around the tent but I can tell he is studying reactions from his question. Like me he is looking for tells and signs of deceit. The body gives away what words try to cover.

"Jeremy ran away recently. We are doing everything in our power to find him," Mason explains his face taking on a somber expression that didn't read at all sincere.

Alaric flashes a sympathetic smile. "I know some people in law enforcement. Maybe I can make some calls on your behalf?"

"We'll keep that in mind. If you'll excuse me. A reporter has arrived to interview me about the campaign." Mason shakes Alaric's hand and then has the audacity to do the same to me. He then grabs Elena's hand and pulls her across the room with the Mikaelson brothers following in their wake.

"Get what you wanted?" I'm curious for his take on the situation.

"You weren't kidding. That guy is a tool. Not sure if he is in involved with Jeremy's disappearance or not but he certainly isn't broken up about it. But there is _something_ going on with him. What local politician needs goons for hire?" Alaric ponders.

"Was wondering the same thing. What did you learn from the girls?" I ask as I direct us back to the bar.

"Nothing from Donovan. Anna was fidgety and rambled nonstop. Kept going on and on about the Jeremy's interest especially his favorite artist, Professor Atticus Shane. A quick google search shows not only is he an artist but also an expert in myths and legends. Couldn't find anything on where he teaches. Hard to see on my phone but pretty impressive work on werewolves, vampire as stuff. Not sure how it's relevant so I think the professor is a dead end." Alaric sighs and rubs his eyes. Seems like we are no closer to solving this mystery.

After we get drinks I give him the rundown of my conversation with Elena. "She had no clue about the account. We'll have to check out the Denver lead but we would have seen a trace of him by now if he was there."

"Who's the guy eye stalking the not so happy couple?" Alaric gestures to the corner of the tent.

A groan escapes me as I study the thin blonde man following Elena and Mason around the room with his eyes. John Gilbert. "That my dear, Ric, is creepy Uncle John." Alaric just nods before asking more questions about my conversation with Elena.

The two of us fall into an easy silence as we sip our drinks. Alaric seems lost in his own head and I watch Elena as she trails after Mason while the local reporter interviews Mason. They are now walking by the items that will be up for charity auction later that evening. The Lockwoods were always fundraising for one cause or another. Elena stops at one of the items and gently touches it. The reporter notices Elena's interest and motions from the item to Elena and to Mason a few items. Mason laughs and nods his head. When they are done I nonchalantly move to view the item of interest. It's a necklace of alternating diamonds and emeralds and from the 1920s. Guessing Mason plans to buy his bride to a little gift.

The auction started and Alaric and I drink to keep from dying of borrdom. The necklace ended up being the last item up for bid. Carol Lockwood is the auctioneer and she goes into a lengthy description of the necklace's history, yada, yada, yada. She even made a comment about it making a perfect wedding present winking at Mason. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The bidding went back and forth between a hand full of people and as the number grows the auction became a duel between Mason and old man Fell. "If he's smart he won't bid too much," Alaric says. He's surprisingly coherent for the amount of alcohol he's consumed.

"Why?" I really don't care about the answer but I'm just bored.

"He claims despite his wealth to be a man of the people. Bidding a reasonable amount on a necklace for his fiancé is endearing. Paying an outrageous amount makes him seem out of touch." Oh, Ricky, you're going to help me have fun tonight after all.

"Fifteen thousand," Mason calls out.

"Sixteen thousand," Mr. Fell responds back. Heads are bobbing around like a tennis match.

"Twenty thousand," Mason calls out triumphantly. Mr. Fell tips his head in defeat.

"Twenty thousand going once," Carol Lockwood calls out.

"Twenty thousand going twice," Carol starts to drop her gavel.

"One hundred thousand dollars" I call out.

The room becomes a vacuum. Not a sound could be heard except for Alaric's low groan at my side. It was an impulsive act that would most likely come back to bite me in the ass somehow, but the astonished and pissed off expressions thrown at me are worth it.

The silence is now getting ridiculous. "Any other bidders?" I ask the audience.

My voice snaps Carol back into action. "One hundred thousand going once, twice, sold to Mr. Damon Salvatore." She plasters a fake smile on her face and applauds politely.

At the sound of the gavel I move to the front of the room bumping shoulders with Mason as I pass to collect my prize. And I know exactly what I'm going to do with it.

* * *

Sitting on Elena's window seat brings back a lot of memories. This was always my spot where she and I would talk about anything and everything. Her parents, my parents, our brothers. There were no secrets between us.

The bathroom door opens and Elena emerges wearing small shirts and a tank top water still dripping down her neck from her shower. I want to lick up every drop.

"Nice PJs" I say eliciting a small scream of fright from her.

"Damon! You can't be here," she says curtly.

I watched her leave alone from the party earlier this evening after having a very tense discussion with Mason. He was still engrossed with the reporter, Andie Starr, so there shouldn't be a chance of being disturbed.

"Just came to drop off your gift." I reached into the pocket of my jacket which I had placed on the window seat next to me.

I held out the blue velvet covered box containing the necklace from the auction. Her face scrunches up in anger causing a small V to form between her eyebrows. A tirade is coming.

"I want nothing bought with your money, Damon. I know how you obtained it." She walks to her bedroom door and yanks it open standing next to it with a hand on her hip.

"But you would have let Mason buy it for you?" I question.

"Out Damon!" She angrily points out the door. Seems I hit a button with that comment. Maybe if I hit enough of them she'll realize she's about to marry an asshat. My phone rings but I ignore it not wanting to interrupt my time with Elena.

I put my hands up in a surrender pose. Slowly getting to my feet I saunter over to her. I knew she would make assumptions about the money. She believes my father paid me a million dollars to leave town. Supposedly I was too much of a bad influence on both Stefan and Elena to remain near them so my father took it upon himself to do something about it. I was also to receive more money every year I stayed away. Cliched and unoriginal but the story was enough for Stefan and Elena to have bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Truth was, I never revived a dime. The truth behind why I actually left haunts my dreams, probably always will. My mother, bless her heart left me a trust fund. A lawyer tracked me down when I was 21. I was shocked that she had kept something like that a secret from my dad, but was grateful for her secrecy. Since then, let's just say I have invested well.

Elena gasps suddenly. i watch as she reaches out and touches my cuffs. "You still have them?" Elena asks softly fingering the cuff link on one of my upturned hands. She realizes what she is doing and quickly steps away from me.

"I take care of the things that matter, Elena," I respond in a gentle tone trying to convey what I can't fully articulate.

I take the necklace out, tossing the empty box on the bed. She immediately starts shaking her head. "This necklace was not purchased with any ill begotten gains."

"I can't accept it Damon." She at least looks apologetic instead of angry. Progress.

"I'm not trying to buy my way back into your life, Elena. Your birthday is in a few days. Call it an early birthday present." She blushes and turns around pulling up her hair.

Her face was more resigned than happy but at least she is not fighting the gift any more. She probably figures taking the necklace will get me out of here faster. "You deserve beautiful things in your life Elena. That's all I ever wanted for you." Elena tenses at my words and steps away from me.

"If you look hard enough Elena, you'll see the truth." I want her to know I didn't leave her for the reason she thinks, but can I tell her the truth?

My phone has been ringing nonstop and after the fourth ignored call from Alaric I finally pick up. "What?" I growl.

"You've got company incoming. Damon, get your ass out of that house now!" Alaric yells.

Car doors slam and feet are running up the porch before I even have a chance to hang up the phone.

**A/N: Please a review and let me know your thoughts!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So this chapter got away from me a little bit. I wrote it all in one sitting. With the length of it, I probably should have broken it into 2 chapters but for some reason I couldn't. I have been excited for the ending of this chapter for a while and maybe like a kid at Christmas I couldn't wait. The first half of the chapter is Elena's point of view and the second half is Damon's. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 8**

**Elena POV **

Damon's words have me confused. What does he mean _'__If you look hard enough, you'll see the truth'_? As much as I didn't want to believe it, the truth was Damon abandoned everyone he supposedly loved for money. We weren't worth fighting for so he took the money and ran, never looking back. I don't have long to ponder his words as Damon barking into his phone has me whirling to face him at the same time I hear footsteps running up the porch. I immediately dash to the window and throw it open. If you lean just right, you can see the front of the house. There is a silver Cadillac escalade idling in front of the house. Closing my eyes I pull myself away from the window fighting the panic swelling in me.

"Expecting company?" Damon asks looking like he doesn't have a care in the world. Of course he doesn't. He's not engaged to a possessive, jealous alpha male who has two goons that do his ass kicking for him.

"Out now!" I order. I've learned to pick my battles with Mason and his team. Damon Salvatore is one battle I do not want to have.

"By the sounds of it, Mason's supposed body guards are about to barge in here. No way in hell I am leaving you alone with them." He fires back.

"They work for Mason. They would never hurt me. You on the other hand..." I let the sentence linger as I'm sure Damon knows what they will do to him.

"Ah, does someone care about me?" I always hated it when he used the fake baby voice. The sarcasm laced words are like a nail on a chalkboard.

"No, I just don't want to have to clean blood out of my carpet. Now move!" I push him to the window as I hear the front door open. One set of footsteps stomps through the main floor and the other starts heading up the stairs.

"Please Damon" I plead. Grumbling he grabs his coat and jumps to the tree across from my window that he used to use to sneak into my room when we were kids. Breathing a sigh of relief I shut the window and fix the curtain. Knowing Damon, he's probably still in the tree watching, but at least he's out of sight.

Turning to face the door, I remember the necklace. Scrambling for the box, I manage to get the necklace off, shoved it in the box, and get the box stuffed under my pillow just as Klaus barges into my room. Silently he moves to the bathroom and then Jeremy's room.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be protecting Mason?" I still do not understand why Mason needs body guards. He is running for state government not federal. The jurisdiction isn't even that big.

"Where is he?" Klaus asks harshly as he saunters back into my room, his macho swagger firmly on display.

"Mason is supposed to be with you." I have no idea how they figured out Damon was here but no way I am admitting to it. Playing dumb is the only plan I have at my disposal.

"Not Mason, Damon Salvatore." Klaus's British accent is even more clipped as he is clearly getting annoyed. Now he is poking his head in my closet roughly pushing the clothes to the side.

"I haven't seen Damon since the party. I have a busy day tomorrow so please leave!" I point to the door and attempt to stare down the man before me. Being around him always gives me the creeps as there is a hunger in his eyes that only I can satisfy.

He steps closer and I am tempted to step back but I hold my ground. Klaus is tall and he leans over with a smirk on his face. "Tell Salvatore to watch his back," Klaus whispers to me then strides out of the room calling for his brother. A minute later, car doors slam and squealing tires can be heard moving down the street.

Running to the window I can see Damon is already out of the tree running down the block hopping into his Camaro. He must have parked a few houses away. He heads off in the same direction as Klaus and Kol. Part of me is happy Damon left but part of me wants to ask what he meant earlier.

Typical Damon. Acts sweet, gets my head all in a jumble, then leaves. Same thing four years ago. Dumps on me that he loves me, had me so confused about the Salvatore brothers I couldn't see straight and then leaves.

Why did Damon have to come back now? I'm already so confused about Mason. Putting up with everything that is Damon Salvatore on top of that makes everything so much harder. Thinking about Damon conjures up the pain and anger of his leaving. Four years and no word from him after he abandons me, abandons Stefan. He thinks he can just come back, flash us a grin and all will be forgiven? I think not.

Needing to vent and knowing there is only person that will still up at this hour I grab my phone. Scrolling through my contacts I send a 911 text to Caroline. It takes her only ten minutes to show up, still in her PJs with a pint of Ben and Jerry's cookie dough in hand.

At this moment, I'm extremely happy to have Caroline back in my life. Like so many others, she faded out of it not long after my dad died. Her own father left when she was little and my father stepped in as her father figure. His death was like the death of her own dad. She resorted to an overly perky version of herself that didn't like the darker broody version of Elena. Caroline wanted to pretend her world was perfect and all I could see was darkness. She came back to town recently to start a party planning business. Tears were shed, apologies were made. It was as if no time had passed and our friendship resumed without missing a beat.

"So is the 911 about _Mr. Perfect_ or a certain sultry blue eyed Salvatore?" Caroline asks as she moves into the kitchen. I can't miss the sarcastic tone and use of air quotes around Mr. Perfect, her nickname for Mason.

I close the door and trail behind her wondering if maybe this was a mistake. Caroline has no qualms about sharing her opinion loudly and forcibly. At the same time wondering how to best answer her question or if I should answer it all. By the time I make it to the kitchen, Caroline has bowls and spoons out and is attempting to pry off the lid of the ice cream. Leaning my hip against the counter arms crossed, I watch her.

Caroline jams the scoop into the hard ice cream and pries out a perfectly round scoop. She pauses midair and stares at me. "From your silence, I can deduce it's both. Let's see if Auntie Caroline can't figure out what is going on in that big Elena brain." I shoot her a disgruntled look. Not even a clairvoyant can lay out this mess out.

"Elena doesn't know what is going on in Elena's brain. Sorry, Care, but even you won't solve this enigma." I shrug and reach for the nearest bowl she has filled with enticing looking ice cream. Maybe putting myself into a sugar coma is the only solution to my life's ills.

Caroline snorts in derision. "You are engaged to a hot smexy male who to the world has your best intentions at heart when in reality, behind closed doors he has his own intentions at heart." Caroline has an eyebrow cocked as if inviting me to disagree with her.

"You have also been in love two brothers. One, you loved openly and the other, you never admitted to loving. Before you ever were able to fully realize this secret love, you were hurt and hurt deeply." Caroline spoons ice cream into her mouth, a triumphant smile on her face.

Okay, Clairvoyant.

The Caroline steam engine has left the station and she keeps right on going. "Elena Gilbert is loyal to a fault. Staying with people who don't deserve to have her at their side. She has a heart too big. She forgives even when she shouldn't." Caroline's voice grew quiet at the end and I know she still feels bad about what she calls her 'total abandonment of me'. I won't lie, it hurt to have lost her friendship for those years, but if forgiving her meant she could now be in my kitchen bitching about boys over a bowl of ice cream. Totally worth it.

Reaching out, I grasp her hand and give it a squeeze. "Care…."

"Stefan, Mason, there is a pattern to the Elena Gilbert loyalty. You can't stay with people because you think you owe them," Caroline says gently before scooping some more ice cream into her mouth.

Stefan and I made it until graduation as a couple. For me, it was a confusing time. Our whole lives everyone thought Stefan and I would get married. My mother was about the only person that didn't have that vision only because she had her own. I think I loved the fairy tale the town spun about us instead of loving the actual man. I loved Stefan all those years, and still do. I think I only loved him, but I wasn't _in_ love with him. I was so young I didn't know the difference.

I had finally reached a point where I was willing to admit there was more to my friendship with Damon than, well, friendship. I cared deeply for him, but he left before I could ever delve deeper than that acknowledgment. That's not entirely true. My diary is the only place I ever admitted what I really felt for the eldest Salvatore and that was only a single entry in a moment of weakness. It's a bit scary that Caroline figured it out.

Damon was wrong for me on so many levels and it turned out his brother wasn't much better. My relationship with Stefan was toxic by the end. I was his project. Stefan desperately wanted to fix me and make me the Elena of old. The loss of a loved one changes you. He should have known that better than anyone having lost his mother, but he could never accept that. I often wonder if I was the reason he turned back to drugs. He wanted everything in his life to be perfect and I was far from perfect. By the time I realized he had fallen off the wagon I couldn't leave him despite our relationship having deteriorated to nothing. How do you leave someone who is struggling? You don't and I didn't. Finally before he graduated, we admitted it was over. We were both a mess. I was staying in Mystic Falls. He was going to school in New York and promised to get help there. The time was right to end things.

So six months after my dad was gone, it was just me. Caroline and Bonnie had long deserted me. Stefan was gone. I had hoped at school I would find some new friends to end the loneliness in which I found myself entrenched. People at school must have seen the signs and avoided me. They knew by becoming my friend they were signing up to me the porter to carry around the baggage of my roller coaster life. I don't blame them for not befriending me. I wouldn't have wanted to be my friend either.

Enter Mason.

Mason graduated from college and came home to learn some of the political ropes by working in the mayor's office for his dad. He quickly ran for the school board, county board and was eventually asked to run for the Virginia state senate to fill a seat vacated by a state senator that passed away. My life was Jeremy and school. I was alone and had been for a couple of years by that point. No friends, no job, acting as a parent to a teenager, and putting up with Uncle John who controlled the estate until we received our trust funds at 25. I realize now I was in the depths of depression but I somehow managed to hide it from the world. Mason saw. He saw and it befriended me, got me out of the house to help on his campaigns and I left like I somewhat had a life again. We were friends for a while and just fell into dating. I hadn't been with anyone since Stefan. The few times I had been asked out, I ended up being stood up so I gave up even trying to be a with a man. Mason proposed during one of his campaign events for county board and the media loved it. Everyone was so excited that we were together. The media even dubbed us the next Camelot and Mason showed up on all sorts of political radars. After my life living in the dark for so long I felt maybe I was finally breaking through to the light. Sitting here in my kitchen at 1 am eating ice cream, despairing over my impending marriage, I realize I never left the dark. I was still living someone else's live according to their rules.

"You have doubts?" Caroline asks even though by the look on her face I know she knows the answer to her own question.

"He was there Caroline and I now he needs me. If I end things or postpone this wedding that could mean the end of his political career." I stab at my ice cream frustrated that I can't just suck it up and be happy. There are scores of woman that would kill to me in my position, marrying a man claimed to be a future presidential candidate.

"Are these doubts recent, since a certain blast from the past returned or from before?" Caroline asks.

"Before. Sometime he is really sweet, other times, like you said, I feel like I am just a tool in his arsenal to move up in the political area. As if his advisors did some kind of poll on what his ideal mate would be like it and somehow I fit the profile." I know that sounds ridiculous. I'm sure it's just me being a stereotypical sensitive woman causing these feelings but I can't shut them off.

"You're human Elena. People have doubts, something those doubts are justified. I saw you dancing with Damon tonight. As I much as I think he's an asshat for abandoning the woman he loved and his brother for money, there was definite chemistry that no one, and I mean _no one_, could miss.

Closing my eyes at the spectacle we must have created I can only cringe at what I will be facing from Mason tomorrow. The sweet persona disappears if he feels like he is put into a bad light and in those moments he can make a person feel two feet tall. Having chemistry with his childhood sworn enemy, I'm sure that ranks high on the list of public missteps.

"Please tell me you do not still have feelings for Damon? That guy was always bad news." Caroline's question has me breath catching. Caroline's words are just now sinking in regards to Damon. Everyone knew Damon and I were inseparable as kids. There is no way she could know he admitted he loved me especially since I repeatedly said I was in love with his brother, maintaining Damon and I were in the friend zone.

"Damon was not bad news." I defend for some unknown reason. "I cared a lot about Damon when we were kids, but I was never in love with him. We shared everything with each other. We were as close as you, me and Bonnie."

"Don't kid a kidder, Elena. That boy loved you and even if you weren't willing to admit it, you loved him. The question in my mind was always which brother did you love more?" Caroline says almost as an afterthought, as if this was common knowledge of anyone and everyone.

Not having a response my bowl of ice cream became the most fascinating thing in the world. Caroline sighs and I look into her face pinched in contemplation. Somehow when I was just 18, Damon had wormed his way under my skin and if I am honest he had always been in my heart since we were little. If had let myself feel what I wanted to feel back then, disregarded what everyone would think of me going from one to brother to next, taken a leap of faith, I could have loved Damon Salvatore. When he left, I buried any and all feeling related to the eldest Salvatore brother deep, guarded under lock and key. I was barely surviving as it was, if I had let those feelings lose it would have consumed me.

"Not team Mason. Definitely not team Damon. I'm team Elena. If, God forbid, one of those guys floats you're boat then I'll advise you against them but will due my duty as best friend and stand by your side. But you need to do what is best for you. If that means canceling your wedding, even if it is an extravaganza planned by me, then you cancel your wedding." Caroline gave a small head nod to emphasize her speech.

We finish our ice cream in silence. I didn't have an immediate response. I don't want to think or contemplate my feelings for Damon. Frankly, I don't want to think or contemplate my feelings for Mason. "Thanks Care," Is the only response I can give. She's right. I've let my life be what others wanted it to be, constantly fulfilling some ideal of perfection. I know better than most that life is messy and I need to be willing to get dirty once in a while if I want to be happy. Once Caroline has been ushered out the door I fall into bed and am grateful when sleep claims me immediately.

Sleep released its hold on me slowly. Sensing someone in my room my eyes fly open and I jack-knife out of bed. Putting a hand over my racing heart my eyes dart around my room landing on my desk chair which has been pulled to the side of my bed.

Mason.

He is staring at me. One ankle resting on his knee, dressed in a pin striped suit hands folded in his lap. His face is impassive. This can't be good.

"You scared me to death," I whisper as I scoot up the bed to rest against the headboard. Mason just continues to stare at me.

"Mason?" I ask quietly not liking how eerily still he is being.

"Where is the necklace Elena?" Mason asks his face still impassive.

"What?" Playing dumb worked last night so I will try it again.

"The necklace, Elena. The one Damon bought in the auction to humiliate me." Mason leans forward bringing his face close to mine. The anger emanating from him fills the room consuming all the oxygen and it's making it hard to breath. This extreme anger is not a frequent occurrence but it is not a rare event either.

"We talked about this before Elena. You are to, Stay. Away. From. Damon Salvatore. Now where is the necklace? There is only one reason he would buy it and it would be to give it the one woman he has always wanted but can't have." Ah, jealously. Now that is an emotion he expresses often. Behind closed doors of course.

"I didn't approach Damon, Mason. I warned you this is a small town and avoiding him is next to impossible. As for the necklace, I don't have it," I whisper hoping my soft tone will divulge that he is scaring me and needs to back down.

"I know he was here Elena. I see him near you again, he may not like the outcome of his clandestine activities. We are too close to the finish line to have anything screw things up now. You're cold feet rears its ugly head again" Mason pauses and gives me a slight smirk. In that moment I realize he knows all about my conversation with Caroline in the middle of the night.

"Maybe evidence of Stefan's little drug habit makes its way to the medical school board. Or maybe the bank changes their mind about the loan Caroline needs to get her party planning business off the ground. Or maybe I divest you of this house. Let Uncle John be homeless. Or maybe, I can call off any and all efforts to find Jeremy claiming that he truly is a runaway." Mason runs his hand along my cheek. If he hadn't just threatened everyone in my life I would think it a loving gesture.

"You are mine, Elena. I waited two years to have you and no one will take away what is rightfully mine. In less than a month you will be mine in every way," Mason growls before getting to his feet, fixing his suit and striding out the door without a second glance.

The only sounds in the room are my ragged breaths. The seed of doubt is now a full grown garden. My life has been an illusion. My mother wanted to control my life, sentence me to a path in life I would never choose for myself. I thought I had avoided the jailer that was my mother but it seems the keys to my cage were merely handed to another. I need to figure out how I regain the upper hand in my own life.

**Damon's POV**

Freshly showered, I jog down the stairs to see a very hung over Alaric pushing himself into a sitting position on the couch where he had passed out the night before. "Good morning Ricky," I grin at him and only receive a groan in return.

Flopping down in the armchair across from him I plant my boot clad feet on the coffee table and cross my arms behind my head. "What did you get up to last night?"

"Since some of us actually need sleep I came back here to crash." Alaric gives me a pointed glare.

"Sleeping is overrated. I'll sleep when I'm dead." Alaric busts my balls about my sleeping habits on a regular basis. I have my reasons for avoiding sleep.

"Came back here, ran into your brother. He's rather loquacious when he's high." His eyes drift towards the stairs where we both know baby brother is safely tucked into this bed before his eyes drift back to me. "How long has that been a problem?"

"Since he was in high school. Adderall has always been his drug of choice. Boy wonder had to keep his standing as Mr. Perfect in the classroom, on the football field, and in our father's eyes. God forbid the kid relaxed and got an A-. The old man wouldn't have disowned the son he actually loved." Thinking of my brother's control freak, '_have to be perfect'_, tendencies has me wanting to grab a drink even though it's only ten in the morning.

"That's heavy duty stuff for a small town like this," Alaric comments.

"Add another item to the list of reasons why I hate Mason Lockwood," I grimace.

"Mason Lockwood was a dealer?" Alaric's eyes are as wide as saucers.

"Remember I told you I got kicked off my college football team for fighting?" Alaric nods his head. "Guess whose ass I kicked?" Alaric gives me a two finger solute of approval. "I was a sophomore and Mason a junior at Virginia Tech when I overheard him bragging about his drug dealing back in Mystic Falls. I knew Stefan was using. Put two and two together and Mason felt the impact of my rage. Mason got off scott-free and I was kicked off the team and lost my scholarship. I eventually managed to dry Stefan out but obviously over the last four years he somehow managed to find his way back to drugs."

The evidence of his drug use had been very clear when I found a passed out Stefan on the landing in front of his room. Picking him up into a fireman's hold I managed to get him into bed. Since sleep was the last thing on my mind, I spent the night ferreting out his drug stashes. As soon as this shit with Jeremy is done, baby brother is going to rehab or facing detox with me.

"What prompted the fire alarm last night?" I ask as Alaric stretches out his back and limps.

"Followed Mason and his posse around most of the night. Phone call came in and the bodyguards rushed out like the place was on fire. I knew you were up to no good and they look like they wanted to stamp out no good." Alaric gave me the glare. I just smirk in return.

"Well, they showed up, stormed the castle which I had already vacated. Once I made sure the damsel in distress was safe, I followed them back to their lair. AKA the Lockwood's. Notice they made a stop along they way at the Grille briefly. Didn't seem to meet anyone and were only there long enough for one before returning to the Lockwood's." It was no surprise that the base of operations was at Mummy and Daddy Lockwood's. The real question is how did they know I was there last night?

"Plan for today?" Alaric asks.

"Search Jeremy's room. Dear ole Uncle John is gone most afternoons and Elena usually goes for a run at the same time. So we have an hour window to get in the house." I pull out my phone to shoot Elena a text to make sure she will be out of the house.

Alaric wanders off in search of coffee and a shower. I grab a backpack and pack provisions we may need for our excursion. As soon as Alaric is functional we pile climb into my Camaro and head to the Gilbert's parking a few streets over in case the house is being watched.

After verifying the perimeter is clear, I circle around the house and shimmy up the tree across from Elena's window. Alaric pulled the old age card so I am stuck on climbing duty while he gets to come in the back door. I proceed to climb into the window Elena's luckily left unlocked. Once inside, I move downstairs. Leaning against the door frame, I throw open the back door to find a very fidgety looking Alaric. He hates breaking and entering or any part of the job where we straddle the legal lines.

Alaric and I start searching Jeremy's bedroom. I'm just hoping we find something. The kid has already been gone too long and the odds of him being alive are reduced by the day. After a half hour of searching I hear the front door creak open. Alaric freezes and he looks to me in a panic mouthing 'exit.' Remembering Jeremy and Elena had a Jack and Jill bathroom I push Alaric inside. Locking the door I press an ear to it wondering who came home early.

"Damon, Mr. Saltzman?" Elena whispers.

Alaric breathes out a sigh of relief. "Pussy" I chide before ripping open the door.

"Somebody was supposed to be out of the house. But you couldn't stay away from with this could you?" I run a hand seductively down my body winking at her.

Elena rolls her eyes and looks past me to Alaric. "I saw the Camaro and assumed you must be searching the house. I want to help anyway I can."

Alaric leads the way back to Jeremy's room explaining what we have already searched and the things to look for. The site of Elena crawling around Jeremy's room is very distracting. She's wearing cropped runners tights and a tank showing all of her assets and I don't need to be thinking of, well, her assets especially when I need to be in PI mode.

A creaking sound breaks me out of my Elena reverie. Retracing my steps I realize the creak is from a loose floor board. Dropping to my knees I pry up the board and see a small leather bound book. Pulling it out and replacing the board, I flop down on the bed and flick through the pages.

The book contains drawings, notes and margin scribbles all of which seems to be in Jeremy's hand writing. Why would he hide this? Some of the notes reference colors and painting techniques. Surveying the room, I don't see paints, canvases or any other painting supplies. The only art supplies are large note pads, pens and charcoals.

"Elena where does Jeremy keep his paintings?" I ask as I go back to flipping through the book. The kid is talented, no doubt about it.

Elena scrunches her face in confusion. "He doesn't paint. He does ink or charcoal."

"Nope" I answer popping the p sound tossing the book on the end of the bed toward her.

She sits on the bed picking up the book. Turning the pages she lovingly runs a finger over the pictures. Her eyes turn sad and shifts her eyes up to me. That look kills me and I will move heaven and earth to erase it from rear face. "I knew he drew but I had no idea he painted as well," she admits.

"Where would he go, school, Anna's," I let the sentence linger not knowing what other possibilities are out there.

"The school is out. He refuses to even take art classes. Says his art is his own. Anna lives with her mom above the pharmacy. There's barely enough room for the two of them let alone for painting." Elena jumps to her feet and starts pacing lost in her own thoughts. Working through the town crossing off possibilities from a mental real estate check list. One possibility stands out, but I'm not sure if Jeremy would have had access to it.

Still lounging on the bed propped up against the headboard, I throw my idea out there. "What happened to your day's office?"

Elena stops pacing. "Uncle John still has it. Says he can't bear to part with it."

I file that tidbit away for future perusal. John hated his brother and I don't buy he has any new found sentimental streak. "We should put that on the list of places to scope out."

Reaching across the bed, I pluck the book out of Elena's hands. She throws a scowl my way but doesn't argue and resumes her searching. Placing the book in my back pocket to review more thoroughly later, I follow suit. We work side by side and I catch her sneaking looks at me every once in a while. I wish I could be in her head right now, know what she is thinking. I'm at least grateful she hasn't yelled at me yet. Of course it's still early.

A crash has Elena and me turning to see Alaric next to a broken sculpture. I'm about to resume my work when I hear Alaric exclaim, "Son of bitch!"

Alaric hold ups what looks like a small camera. Rushing across the room I grab the backpack I brought with me. Rooting around inside I pull out a small device turning it on. Luckily Alaric likes spy toys so we have a frequency jammer with us to stop anyone that might be trying to listen or watch. In moves practically choreographed from having worked together so long Alaric and I systematically start moving from room to room searching for bugs and cameras.

"What's going on?" Elena asks hurrying to keep up with me as I move to search her room and Alaric moves to the main floor.

"Alaric just found a camera hidden in Jeremy's room. Someone was a little too interested in Jeremy's activities and we're trying to figure our how interested they were in the rest of the Gilbert family." Finding nothing in her bookshelves I grab a chair and place it under her smoker detector.

"So they are listening and watching right now?" The color drains from her face and she nervously looks over her should as I climb up on the chair. Popping off the plastic lid, I see the bug right away.

"Frequency jammer. Assuming they are listening right now, we have 10 maybe 15 minutes before whoever is on the other end of these devices realizes the white noise they are picking up isn't really white noise." Studying the wiring I pull out my own device that will attach to the bug and help us trace the signal whenever it transmits.

I notice Elena swaying slightly on her feet and I jump off the chair rushing to her side. Grasping her by the arms I guide her to the bed. She is staring off into space eyes glazed. "Still in the dark" she whispers to the room. Her words confuse me but before I can ask for clarification, big brown eyes lock onto me and her face hardens. "We need to find Jeremy. Tell me what to do find him."

Squeezing her arms my head drops, steeling my resolve to stay strong for her. "We'll find him, Elena. I promise."

Her body tenses at my promise, but I have to make it. I love her too much to do anything else but find Jeremy. "Your promises aren't enough Damon. We need to find him now before he is gone for good."

Alaric pops his head into the room. "Time's up let's go." I can only give her arms a reassuring squeeze and nod in agreement knowing we don't have time to delve into anything now despite it lingering in the air between us. Reluctantly I follow Alaric out the door.

* * *

Later that evening I find Alaric at the bar a drink already waiting for me. We quietly review the facts we have so far which really isn't much. Denver, a secret account, hidden notebook, cameras. The kid obviously had secrets, secrets someone wanted. We found bugs and cameras in the rest of the house. Someone has been keeping a very close eye on things in the Gilbert household. Hopefully we can trace the signal to find out who is watching the house.

"Rumor is the lovebirds had a few words on Main Street today after we left the house," Alaric informs me. Good, I hope Elena dumps that jackass. "Is this case messing with your head too much?" Alaric asks softly.

"Ric, Ric, Ric…heart of stone," I say sardonically tapping my chest for emphasis. Even I don't believe the false bravado in my voice.

"She's obviously in turmoil. I can see the strain on you whenever you are around her. You should talk to her. You both need closure." Great, Alaric, the drunken psychologist.

Scowling at him I reach over, grab his drink and down it before he can protest. "Dick," he mutters signaling the bartender for another.

Drinking is doing nothing for me. It's supposed to make me forget and Alaric's psychologist babble is not letting me do that. So I say my goodnights to Alaric and head out. As I exit the Grille I see a leggy brunette stumbling down the sidewalk with a giggling blonde at her side. "Fuck men!" The blonde squeals.

Shit, its Caroline and Elena. The stress has finally gotten to her. Miss Prim and Proper would not walk down the streets of Mystic Falls drunk. I may have been gone for four years, but I know this is still true. "Ladies, what are we up to this evening?" I ask coming between the two and wrapping my arms around them.

"Thank God I am really drunk and won't remember having the asshat touch me," Caroline says clumsily stepping away from me. She nearly trips but I manage to snag her and pull her back against me. Without them realizing it I steer them back to my Camaro and pour them inside the car in a fit of giggles.

"I forgot how hot you are," Elena says poking me in the face as I pull away from the parking lot. She has a wide grin on her face her eyes hazy.

"This face, this body. No one ever forgets me baby." I wiggle my eyebrows at her as she burst into another fit of giggles. I can't help but grin. This wild side was something only I really got to see when we were young and there is a part of me that hopes my return has forced it to resurface.

We head to Sheriff Forbes' house to drop off Caroline who is giggling in the back and muttering 'smexy asshat.' Warms my heart to feel the love from her. Once Caroline is safely home I head to the Gilbert house with a barely conscious Elena. Parking out front, I circle the car and open the passenger side door. She is in no shape to walk so I pick her up bridal style and her head rests against my chest hand gripping the back of my hair that still needs a trim. I have to fight the shivers of pleasure of having her in my arms.

As I cross the threshold into the house she stirs slightly. "You left," Elena slurs. "You broke our hearts, you broke my heart." She drunkenly pokes at my chest.

"I only wanted the best for you, for Stefan," I whisper in her hair. I don't know if she is coherent enough to hear me or not. Knowing the bugs are still in place I am trying to keep the noise levels down.

Somehow I wrestle the covers off the neatly made bed and place her gently down. Removing her shoes and jacket I pull the covers up. "You forgot everything. You never loved us. Broke your promise," Elena mutters before rolling over and passing out seeming to have forgotten I am even in the room.

Like so many years ago, I can't resist stroking her cheek. I truly am a fuck up. Had I stayed they would have been hurt but my leaving hurt them in a different way. "I never stopped loving you Elena," I quietly admit knowing she can't hear me.

Quiet clapping sounds from behind me. Slowly turning, Klaus Mikaelson fills the doorway. "Touching," Klaus quips. "This is the third time you have been in the company of Miss Gilbert. I think someone needs to learn a lesson."

"Is this were we whip out our dicks and have a pissing contest to prove who is the bigger alpha dog. I'll save you some time and energy." I quickly step forward causing Klaus to flinch. It was slight, but it was still a flinch. "Woof, I win." I brush past Klaus purposely bumping shoulders. If Klaus is here then Kol is somewhere waiting in the wings.

As soon as I step on the porch, I sense movement to my left. Ducking quickly I miss an arm that is thrust out in an attempt to hit my across the throat. Spinning around, I take a quick swing and manage to hit a surprised Kol across the jaw, blood spraying across my hand and the porch. Not stopping my momentum I grab him and slam him into the side of the house face first arm pinned to his back.

"Looks like someone learned to fight," Kol gets out between grunts of pain. I knew how to school yard scrap but that kind of fighting doesn't cut it for being a PI. I have spend a lot of time and money with a professional trainer to win in situations like this.

The cocking of a gun at my ear has me freezing and Kol sighing in relief. Klaus thinks he is catching me by surprise, but I knew he would come in close. Stepping back into Klaus's body, I grab his gun arm and whip him around slamming him into his brother. Kol slides down in a heap from his bed being slammed into the house. Bending Klaus's hand at the right angle has him releasing the gun.

Aiming the gun at Klaus, I see his eyes widen in fear. Popping out the clip and releasing the bullet in the chamber I throw each of the pieces into the yard. "I think the lesson we learned today is that the Mikaelson brothers are a couple of pansies." Klaus starts to push himself to his feet, but I throw one more punch to knock him back down. Wiping the blood from my hands on my shirt I turn and jog back to my Camaro not bothering to look back. Retribution will come hard and fast I'm sure, but I will handle that when the time comes.

Once back at house, I find Alaric diligently typing away on his laptop. He glances at me and just shakes his head silently at the blood on my shirt and hands. Not wanting to discuss my run in, I head straight for the bathroom in my room. The shirt has blood spatters on it from both brothers and from my bleeding knuckles. I rip it open, buttons flying everyway knowing it's a lost cause anyway and throw it into the garbage.

Elena's words haunt me. _You forgot everything. You never loved us. Broke your promise. _Even if Elena and Stefan were willing to listen to my story from four years ago, could I tell it? Angling to turn on the shower I catch a glimpse of my profile from the waist up in the mirror. Gliding my hand across my skin, what lies there is a reminder of my past. It's my secret testament to my love for Elena. Evidence of my attempt to keep the most important promise I ever made, to do anything in my power to give those I love a better life.

**A/N: I think I am caught up on responding to everyone's comments and I appreciate each and every one. Reviews make my day so please drop a note and let me know what you think.**

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	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: House renovations, job interviews, crazy kids and work, but I finally managed to finish this chapter. Reminder italic/bold sections are flashbacks. Thank you again for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. They mean the world to me. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 9**

Sitting, legs dangling off the retaining wall behind the former medical practice of Grayson Gilbert at five in the morning, I wait for Alaric who is dragging ass this morning. He slept during the drive over here as well as the stops I made along the way at the drug store and for coffee. It's taken him ten minutes to plop down next to me when he finally woke up enough to drag himself from the car. He is definitely looking worse for wear this morning, shirt untucked, bag hanging half-hazardly from his shoulder, bed head and bleary eyes.

Prying a coffee from the drink carrier, I hand it to him. "Thanks," he mumbles sucking back a long drink of his black coffee. Like me, he's a purist. Alaric's eyes drop next to me. "Remind me to give you a raise," Alaric says reaching for the individual dose pack of aspirin next to me.

I slap his hand away before he can touch it. "Nuh uh, not for you," I chastise. You would think with his constant state of hangovers he would keep himself better stocked with provisions. "Bet you regret making me a partner now," I sing song at him.

Alaric grumbles to himself about having a dick for a partner. I reach into the shirt pocket of his flannel and pull out his own aspirin pack I tucked in there earlier, tossing it in his lap. He tore into it like it contained Willy Wonka's golden ticket. I just smirk at him. Once the aspirin has been chased by his coffee he pulls out his phone.

"Did you hear from Elena about where she left the key?" After we left her yesterday, Alaric called Elena to ask if we could get into her dad's old building to continue searching for any insight on Jeremy. She told him she would leave a hide-a-key at the building and text him its location.

"Nope" I respond sipping my own coffee.

Alaric sighs in exhaustion. "Damon we can't just sit out here all day. People will get suspicious." Alaric jumps down and starts pacing and running his hands through his air. No one has caught on to the fact that we are really PIs and Alaric wants to keep it that way. Me, I think we should scream it down Main Street and see who creeps out of the woodwork to stop us.

Alaric's stops his pacing in front of me and his eyes zero in on the coffee tray next to me. He looks up with a concerned expression. "What's with the third coffee? Did you have another bad night?" You have to sleep to have a bad night I almost blurt out.

"This is a historic building dating back to the founding of the town. Since you are supposed to be writing a history book, "I used air quotes around history book, "think our cover is safe. Secondly, the reason we haven't gotten a text is the reason for the third coffee. Bet dollars to donuts Miss Gilbert makes a personal appearance." I choose not to comment on the sleeping question, because it was a bad night like almost every night since being back in Mystic Falls.

Alaric doesn't look convinced that Elena will show. Jeremy missing, her house being bugged, obvious tension with Mason culminating in her walk on the drunk side last night shows she is at the end of her rope. Now the question is, will she roll over or come out swinging. The Elena I knew would come out swinging but this is not the Elena of my childhood. I can see that girl is long gone. It was never my intent for that to happen, but I accept my role in killing that version of her. I watched her for days before reconnecting with her. I have continued to watch her since being reintroduced into her life. Other than the Mason factor, the woman I have watched has the potential to be so much more than I ever hoped for her. She just has to realize she is stronger than she thinks she is. I'm all in on her coming out swinging.

Growing some balls, I finally pulled out her file last night. I knew Elena was strong but her strength is beyond what I ever imagined was in her. Dad died. Mom abandoned them, which was a blessing in disguise. Despite Uncle John being here, Elena raised Jeremy while going to school and playing the role of Mystic Falls' favorite daughter. You name the town event or charity and Elena was involved. No details on what happened with Stefan, but from what I could read, she has been on her own for a long time.

"You going to tell me why you came back with a bloody shirt and bloody knuckles last night?" Alaric motions to my hand currently wrapped around my own coffee. Glancing down I can see my knuckles are red and scabbed over in a couple of spots.

"Had a little kerfuffle with Mason's boys." I shrug.

"A kerfuffle?" Alaric asks fighting back a laugh.

"A kerfuffle. They were a couple of pussies. The fight had to be described with a pussy term," I reply rolling my eyes.

Alaric just shakes his head and sips his coffee. I have no desire to recount my fight as it will only make me pissed all over again. Pissed that instead of Mason using his so called body guards to actually make sure Elena got home safe while drunk, they fight a person who actually kept her safe. It's as if Mason is afraid I'm trying to steal his toy, one in which he only cares about because it's his.

"What kind of secret does a 17, 18 year old kid have that would get his house bugged?" Alaric asks catching my mood that the topic needs to be changed.

Alaric's question is one I have been asking myself since we found those bugs and cameras at the Gilbert's house yesterday. The kid is squeaky clean. I have a feeling we are sitting on a powder keg waiting to explode.

"Don't know, but I figure it has to be Lockwood. Would explain how the idiot twins knew I was there the other night." Alaric nods his head in agreement as he takes a drink of his coffee.

"Just because Mason may have had the house bugged doesn't mean he had anything to do with Jeremy's disappearance. The guy is a politician. He's probably keeping an eye on things to make sure his career isn't jeopardized. We have to play this smart, Damon. Going off half-cocked because you hate the guy isn't going to get us anywhere," Alaric warns.

"Me, go off half-cocked?" Alaric glares at me. "Ric, if I go off, it will be full cocked. If we find any evidence he had anything to do with Jeremy, salvaging his political career will be the least of Mason's problems," I vow. If Mason harms one hair on Jeremy's head, the retribution will be long and very fun for me to administer.

Both of us fall into silence, the only sounds the sipping of coffee. Staring off into the distance a small smile creeps across my face. I give a small chin lift and Alaric looks behind him. Elena is shuffling toward us, head bowed, sunglasses on and hair in a messy ponytail. She looks rougher than Alaric.

"Good morning drunky" I call out. I can see her lips moving, muttering under her breath. I'll assume they are curses at me. Well, she's going to love me in about five seconds.

Reaching down, I snag the bottle of water and aspirin I picked up for her. She readily accepts my proffered gifts quickly popping the pills and greedily draining the bottle of water. She lets loose a groan and rubs her temples.

"Thanks" she forces out. "And, uh, thanks for getting me and Caroline home last night."

Swapping out her empty water bottle, I hand her the last coffee sitting next to me. She takes a sip and moans. Fucking moans. It's going to be a really long day.

"Always at your service," I quip trying to ignore how tight my pants suddenly feel.

Elena lifts her coffee cup to take a second drink and after tasting it, the cup's motion halts an inch from her lips. Her face turns towards me. She is wearing mirrored aviator glasses so I can't read her eyes but what I can see of her mouth is open in shock.

"What's this?" She asks softly lilting her head toward her cup.

"Carmel macchiato, double caramel with whip cream," I tell her using my best waiter voice.

"Huh?" Elena asks dumbly. Holding the coffee out before her as if it's an incendiary device, she stares at it a moment before pushing her sunglasses on top of her head and swinging her eyes to me. Those brown orbs are swirling with confusion but there is a softness there I haven't seen in four years.

"Not my first rodeo with you, Elena. When it's important, you remember." Alaric's psychobabble last night about closure pissed me off. If I didn't think Alaric's was right at the time, then Elena's drunken confession about me breaking her heart clinched it. She always bore the weight of the world on her shoulders and if we can come to some type of understanding maybe it will lighten her load just a little bit.

Elena's face contorts in anger. Then she stomps to the door silently, shoves her key in the lock, throws the door open, and storms inside. Alaric tilts his head at me as if to say, "what did you do?" before following her inside. She's pissed about what I said and reminding her of our past, but I need to push if we are ever going to talk. I have no intention of telling her the whole story but I can cobble enough of the truth together to hopefully have her not hate me.

With a heavy sigh I enter the building. It's exactly like I remember. Brick facade, bright interior that was always so inviting to patients. I wasn't prepared for the sights and smells to conjure up so many memories including the last time I was in this building with Grayson in his old office.

_**Walking into Grayson's office, I push his wheelchair to his desk. I offered to help clean out some of his personal belongings since he hasn't practiced in well over a year. Grayson turned his head to look up at me. Silently he motioned to the chair across from him. I plopped down in the chair putting my feet up on his desk. Grayson never seemed to mind that I failed to follow social decorum. **_

_**"How about a drink instead of clean up duty? I know you were just trying to spare Elena having to do this by volunteering. You're on a break from Virginia Tech, you should get to kick back and relax." Grayson gave me a knowing smile. He knows Elena has me wrapped around her little finger. It's been that way since we were kids and frankly, I don't mind.**_

_**"Oh, twist my arm," I said as I feigned having my arm bent behind me.**_

_**He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of bourbon and a couple of glasses. This has become a ritual of sorts for us. Shooting the shit over a glass of bourbon when I come home from school for a visit, which over the last two years has been often outside of football season. Even though I'm still underage he has always treated me like his best drinking buddy. Most of his friends faded out of his life when he got sick, even my dad. **_

_**He hands me the bottle and I poured two fingers of my favorite numbing agent into each glass, adding ice from the mini fridge next to the desk. Handing a glass over, Grayson readily accepted it. I clinked his glass and we each took a drink. Grayson has ruined my palette for anything other than fine bourbon and whiskey.**_

_**"What are your dreams, Damon?" Grayson asked his gaze sliding to me. It's a question out of the blue, but that is nothing unusual for Grayson. **_

_**"Sex, drugs and rock 'n roll" I quipped taking a sip from my own drink.**_

_**Grayson chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Damon," he said gently. He was using the dad voice I heard him use on his kids when he was trying to have a serious conversation with them.**_

_**"Fine, if achieving the life of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll fails, then I guess I'll settle for getting out of this town. Forging my own path. Proving to myself I am not my father's son." I replied honestly. I made sure to leave out that part of my dream was to have his daughter realize she was madly in love with me. **_

_**My father let himself become a bitter old man. He envisioned something different for his life. When his life derailed, instead of making a life that could make him happy he became belligerent and took out his anger on those around him, bling everyone else for his mistakes. My mother, me, even Grayson has born the brunt of a Giuseppe tirade or two.**_

_**"I've accomplished a lot in my life. Was patient, planned, followed my instincts, worked hard. But there was one moment, one moment where I ignored that internal voice, so quick to fulfill what was expected of me. I was blind, rash, and impatient and that decision gave me the world and cast me into hell at the same time." Grayson stared into the bottom of his glass a forlorn look on his face.**_

_**I was at a loss for what to say. First because I had no idea what he was talking about and secondly, I could almost feel the pain and sadness that haunted him. I pull no punches in what I say which meant I rarely found myself in a position to offer comfort, so I was stumped as to what the proper protocol was in such a situation.**_

_**"Now most of my life has passed me by and I can't correct my mistakes as I'll be dead in a couple of years at most. I'm worried my kids are so jaded by what they are being forced to endure that they will be blind in a different way. I won't live long enough to make sure the blinders are fully off." Grayson sipped his drink. I couldn't miss his hand shaking as the tinkle of ice in his glass was a giveaway as to the deterioration of his health. He had already lost the use of his legs and it looked like his arms wouldn't be far behind. This would further restrict his life. He was only in his office because he was supposed to be supervising me cleaning it out. It allowed him to at least get out the house since Miranda made little effort to do it.**_

_**"It breaks my heart that I won't be around to make sure all my kids' dreams come true." Grayson stared at me a moment, a wan smile on his face. The sound of ice clinking resounded around the room. "Someday when you have kids you'll learn you would move heaven and earth to keep them safe and ensure their happiness." Grayson gave me another sad smile. I could only nod at him in return as I continued to sip my drink.**_

The nostalgia tour over, I follow Alaric and Elena. Like it had been for years, the main level is a doctor's office, but instead of Grayson Gilbert treating the town' ills, its Meredith Fell renting out the space to hang out her own shingle as the town physician.

Moving up the stairs, we start at the top of the building and decide to work our way down. We are able to clear the top floor pretty quickly as it just contained the boxes and remnants of Grayson's old practice that I packed up years ago. Alaric led the way to the middle level and quickly disappears into the room. I slowly follow keeping pace with Elena who is struggling to put one foot in front of the other. Her hangover obviously hampering her movements.

"So what prompted you and blondie going on a bender last night? I seem to recall, once upon a time, a bevy of lectures that I quote, '_the solutions to the world's problems can't be found at the bottom of a bottle,' _end quote,_" _I tell her in my best fake Elena voice.

"You don't know me anymore Damon." Elena says quickening her pace down the stairs.

Throwing an arm out and grasping the door jam, Elena halts on the second floor landing. "I know you, Elena Gilbert." My statement garners a snort in response as she tries to duck under my arm, but I manage to step into her and she retreats until her back hits the wall.

"Four years is a long time Damon. You don't know me anymore and I sure as hell don't know you. Not sure if I ever did." She crosses her arms across her chest and cocks out a leg. Her _'I am pissed off woman, hear me roar' _pose. God, I missed this fiery woman.

"You may have been the only one to really know me Elena." I give her a sad smile at this truthful revelation, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that has fallen out of her pony tail. "We were friends once. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Forget your hatred of me for five seconds and talk to me. Tell me giving up New York, staying in this God forsaken town, marrying Mason is everything you ever dreamed, Elena. Look me in the eye and tell me he's what you want and I will do cartwheels down Main Street and shake Mason's hand in congratulations."

"I told you, Damon, you lost the right to get involved in my life." She tries pushing me away but I capture her wrists pushing her palms against my chest. As is becoming her habit, Elena is looking everywhere but at me because I've hit a nerve. For whatever fucked up reason that can only exist in the enigma that is Elena Gilbert, she is settling for someone other than the man of her dreams. No woman, especially Elena, should ever settle.

"If you want me out of your life, why come today? Why not leave the key, let Alaric and me handle the search?" Me thinks the lady doth protests too much. Some small part of her misses our friendship, but is too proud and hurt to admit it.

Pressing even closer I feel Elena tremble. Being this close to her is intoxicating and has every emotion in me ready to explode out of me all at once. "I thought I lost you forever," I whisper as I study every nuance of her face. Her face in this moment is soft, open, vulnerable and her breath hitches slightly.

"You never lost me Damon," she whispers softly. Hope rises in me that we'll be okay. Then she closes her, takes a large breath and as she opens those windows to her soul, I watch the shudders go down and her body stiffen. "You never lost me because I was never yours to begin with."

Rarely have I cared enough about anything to let words or actions truly hurt me. But in this moment, I'm gutted. Pursing my lips and looking down at my boots, I expect to see a pool of blood at my feet from where Elena has slit me wide open. It takes every ounce of self-control to not lash out and cut her back as is my natural instinct. Cutting people down with words, hurting those around me is my specialty. Elena is the one person I can't do that too.

Elena ducks under my arm, disappearing into the room. I let her go knowing she is still too angry to listen to me. For a brief moment, I had her but she let the pain overwhelm her and hurt me back. I sense movement and raising my eyes find Alaric in the open doorway.

"Care to see what I found?" Alaric asks quietly. He obviously witnessed my little tete-a-tete with Elena and is wisely keeping his mouth shut about it.

As I enter the room, there are wall to wall canvases of all sizes. Some blank, some obviously in progress and stacks of what I can only assume are completed pieces. There is a large wooden table in the center if the room covered in buckets of brushes and tubes of paint in every color imaginable. Jackpot.

"The mystery of where Jeremy was painting is solved. Now, the question is, why was he hiding it?" Alaric asks.

"Because the kid is a pain in the ass" I reply sardonically which earns me a glare from Elena.

"Let's look around, see if we find anything." At Alaric's words the three of us separate, but I notice he's trying to stay between us. Ever the dad, trying to keep the kids from fighting.

"Your family owns the building, but rents it out?" Great, now Alaric is trying to make conversation. Small talk will not blot the tension that hangs in the room.

"Yes, Uncle John thought about selling it, but said he didn't have the heart to do it since the building once held my dad's practice. He rents out the first floor to Dr. Fell and has had various renters over the years to help cover the building's mortgage for the upper floors," Elena offers as she searches the table in the middle of the room.

Uncle John, the douchebag, doesn't have a sentimental bone in his body. It surprises me that Grayson wouldn't have had mortgage insurance on the building or have just paid it off before he died. He knew for years he was dying. Of course, things weren't always in Grayson's control so details may have been missed in his estate planning.

Refocusing myself, I flip through a stack of canvases that are leaning against the wall. The paintings are of vampires, wolves, and other supernatural themes. Odd choice of subjects, but the kid always was a little odd. About half way through the stack, I pause as I've seen the picture somewhere before. As I stare at the painting I realize where I've seen it. Pulling out the leather bound book from my back pocket, which turned out to be a journal of sorts, which I found hidden in Jeremy's room, I flick through it. A quarter the way through the book, I find it. A sketched out version of the painting with Jeremy's notes. In the corner of the page, it says two hundred. Book in hand I move around the room and match painting after painting to the journal. Each journal page is tagged with some value in the hundreds written in the corner. Studying one of the paintings more closely I stare at the signature. Snippets from Jeremy's file and the tidbits we have learned since being in town float through my brain.

Crouching in front of a painting, I run my hand over the signature. "Alaric, what was the name of that professor Anna said Jeremy was obsessed with?"

"Uh, Shane, Atticus Shane. Why?" Alaric asks and I can hear him moving closer to me.

"Sneaky little shit," I mumble. "Pull out his file," I order.

Alaric reaches into the shoulder bag he has strung across his body. Rooting around he pulls out a file and hands it to me. Sorting through the various papers I locate what I need. Scanning down the transaction history of Jeremy's bank account and comparing it to his journal all the pieces fall into place.

"Sneaky little shit!" I growl. By now Elena has joined our little pow wow staring at me in confusion.

"Look at the signature." I point at the bottom of the painting in front of me. Elena bends down and scrutinizes it.

"Atticus Shane," she says looking back at us. I hear Alaric suck in a breath. Elena swivels her head from me to Alaric and back to me. "Someone want to explain why my brother is storing painting from another artist."

Alaric grips the back of his neck and his eyes turn to me. Of course, let me deliver the news that her brother was hiding stuff from her. "Your brother is Atticus Shane."

"Or more precisely, Professor Atticus Shane." Alaric hands Elena his phone and she studies the website Alaric discovered during the founders party.

"My guess. Little brother made up Professor Mcshadypants, then sold artwork online under the pseudonym. The pricing on the website matches what Jeremy wrote in his journal alongside each painting. They also match the deposit amounts into his savings account over the last year," I explain.

"He's obviously talented. Why make up a fake person?" Elena asks incredulously.

"There is all sorts of buzz on twitter, Facebook, tumbler about Atticus Shane being an expert in the supernatural. He used social media to generate his own hype and sold more paintings. Plus it let him keep it hidden." I can see her struggling with this. Her eyes are darting around the room and she has a death grip on Alaric's phone.

"Anna knew. She kept dropping hints, talking about Jeremy and Shane. Warrants a follow up with her." Alaric reaches out and touches Elena's hand holding the phone. Elena looks down at her hand in surprise and mumbles an apology as she gives the phone back.

"Why? Why would he do all this?" Elena asks.

"It's confession time, Elena. How did he feel about you marrying Mason?" I ask as gently as I can.

Her eyes flash with fury for a moment, at me or Mason, I can't be sure. "He hated Mason," she admits.

I knew I liked that kid. "But he has been vocal about that for years. Mason knew Jer hated him and Mason just ignored it. He did his best to ingratiate himself to the family, especially Jeremy and figured he would come around eventually. Mason is running for office, he would never do anything to someone else. Despite Jer not liking him, Mason likes Jeremy. He's done a lot to try and find him." I'm not sure if Elena is trying to convince us or herself of Mason's innocence.

"We're not saying Mason had anything I do with Jeremy's disappearance. We just need all the facts." Alaric tries to assuage her.

"My guess, Jeremy was putting together money to take you with him to Colorado, get you established there with him." It's the only reasonable explanation for why he would hide the money. Bet Jeremy found out about Colorado and saw it as a way get Elena out of this town. Elena mentioned before that they don't get their trust funds until they're 25, so this must have been why Jeremy needed the money. Just like Elena was trying to get her little brother into a better situation, Jeremy wanted the same for his big sister.

"W-why? Why would do that? How could I have missed this?" Elena's voice keeps elevating as she sweeps an arm across the room.

Elena starts pacing and pulling at her hair. She keeps mumbling to herself about Jeremy. Alaric turns to me wide eyed obviously having no clue what to do as we watch Elena have a melt down before our eyes. Striding over to her, I grasp her by her upper arms and stop her momentum.

"He's my little brother. It was my job to protect him. How could I have missed all of this?" She is practically hysterical now.

Pulling her against me and wrapping my arms tight I feel her collapse against me. "Love, Elena. Jeremy loves you just as much as you love him. We all do the craziest things in the name of love."

**A/N: You are all probably hating on Elena right now (frankly I am too), but she's been sitting on her anger for Damon a long time and its finally exploding out of her. Drop me a note and let me know what you think.**

**Twitter: wolverine_999**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews. If I missed anyone in replying to a review, I apologize. I truly appreciate all the feedback. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 10**

Glutton for punishment. I should have chosen that phrase to tattoo on my body instead of the ones I have. I predicted this trip would be crushing but I thought I could shoulder the burden. After having Elena in my arms, trying to bring her back from her mini meltdown, I felt my knees start to buckle slightly under the weight. Our bodies touching, arms wrapped tightly around each other, we were in a state of suspended reality. Of course, reality had to come crashing back and Elena jumped out of my arms so fast once the sobs subsided, you would have thought I was on fire. She mumbled something about wedding planning with Caroline, grabbed Jeremy's journal and tore out of the office.

That was a week ago. Since then, it's been trips to Colorado, casual conversations with the sheriff and then members of the town council. Elena for her part has revisited all of Jeremy's friends, spent time on Mason's campaign and wedding planning with Caroline. There has been the occasional text as we discuss things about Jeremy, but despite my best efforts there has not been an opportunity to talk to her alone. Her ability to duck, dodge and live in the denial bubble almost revivals mine. So in other words, thus far, my attempts at a reconciliation have been a big F-A-I-L, fail. The only upside seems to be a silent understanding on her part to work with me to find Jeremy , so fights and snarky comments have been kept to a minimum.

Now I am leaning against my Camaro, arms and ankles crossed waiting for Alaric. He emerges from the house but hesitates when he sees me. Alaric is a smart man. He knows bits and pieces of my history, he heard my conversation with Elena last week, saw her in my arms and has seen my mood ever since. A mood that has me pissed off bordering on hostile. Most would think her crying in my arms was a positive step forward, but that would mean there are still steps I have to go through to get us where I want us to be. Patience has never been my strong suit. I want things fixed now and it pisses me off to know I need to move at Elena's pace on this.

Alaric takes a breath. "Damon, if you want out, I'll understand," Alaric says softly. See, smart man.

Rarely have I had friendship and loyalty in my life. It's probably deserved. I know I'm a dick. Always seemed to burn more bridges than I could ever build. Alaric has seen me do some pretty shitty things, has been my partner in crime for some even shittier things, things he would rather have avoided. His friendship, his loyalty never wavers. Alaric is a rare breed.

"Good cop or bad cop?" I ask.

Every lead we tried tracking down this week led to more dead ends. The only upside is we were able to sit down with Anna and she spilled everything she knew. She confirmed what I surmised about Colorado. Jeremy figured out Elena's plan and Jeremy, being a Gilbert, wasn't going to leave his sister behind. With no inheritance until they're 25 and no job or degree, Jeremy was smart enough to know Elena would some seed money to establish herself.

Have to give the kid credit, his hated of Mason must have run pretty deep. This was an elaborate plan. Such a plan is only required if your stubborn sister refused to see her impending marriage would be the biggest mistake of her life. This has all led to what I wanted to do a week ago and corner Mason to see what he really knows.

Alaric sighs. "Do you even know how to play good cop?" See, rare breed. He knows when to push and when to let it lie. Now is not the time to discuss Elena or our history. This is a time to let it lie. I just need to find Jeremy.

"So you're finally ready to accept what we have to do?" I ask circling the Camaro to the driver's side. Mason is lucky he was on the campaign trail this past week, otherwise he would have received a visit from me, even if Alaric was still sitting on the fence about it. With Mason's status as an up and coming politician, Alaric wanted to keep a wide birth. Somewhat understandable since there is talk of a run for Governor if he doesn't screw up over the next four years and a presidential run eight years after that. I've been vehemently disagreeing with Alaric's philosophy, but he is going to be forced to agree after Anna confirmed all our assumptions.

A long sigh escapes his lips and he briefly looks up. "Can we not kick anyone's ass tonight, please?" Alaric crosses his hands on top of the Camaro. Finally, Alaric agrees and lucky enough Mason is back in town as of today. I just flash Alaric a smirk and climb into the Camaro.

* * *

Feet propped up on the table in front of me, sitting in a wing backed chair in the dark, I don't have to wait long for my prey. Mason enters the bedroom from the bathroom wearing just a towel surrounded by a cloud of steam. He enters his walk-in closet re-entering the room a few minutes later in a pair of dress pants and his dress shirt unbuttoned. I flick on the light sitting on the small table next to me. Mason jumps a mile in the air turning quickly towards the light.

"What the..." Mason yells. His eyes widen and there is a fear there.

Mason seems to regain his composure and straightens his spine, his face contorting in a smirk. "Damon Salvatore. Breaking and entering. A new low even for you." Mason takes a step away from me towards his dresser.

"Maid let me in. She was very accommodating," I tell him with a suggestive wiggle of my eyebrows. I think the maid sensed me being there meant bad things for Mason and she practically shoved me up the stairs towards his room. No loved lost with his staff.

"Is there a reason for this visit? I'm an important man and have places to be." Mason places his arm on the dresser he has edged close to and I have to force myself not to burst out laughing at his attempts to be nonchalant.

Reaching into the pocket of my jacket, I pull out a cell phone and hold it up with my fingertips. "Looking for this?"

Mason grimaces and steps forward. "Give me back my phone Damon and get out!" Mason demands. The fear has returned as he has no lifeline to call anyone for help him if I decide to kick his ass.

I drop the phone so my whole hand is around it except for one finger. I wave my finger at him as if scolding a child. "Tsk, tsk, Mason. So rude. This isn't how you treat a long lost friend. It's been a while since we've had a nice friendly chat." I explain to him with a wide grin. Watching him twist and turn, not knowing what I am up to, has high entertainment value. Should have sold tickets and popcorn.

"Tell me why you're fucking in my room, Damon. Now!" Mason tries to demand.

"Let's play a little game of truth. You answer my questions honestly and we part ways. Lie to me, and let's just say, your campaign photos may need some air brushing." I start twirling the phone in my hands, my crossed feet swinging back and forth like I don't have a care in the world. This is unnerving Mason even more.

"Not going to play your games, Damon. Get out or I will call the police." Mason starts for the door.

"Tell me about Jeremy Gilbert." At first I think Mason is ignoring me since he never breaks stride as he crosses the room.

"He's the runaway, pothead, little brother of _MY_ fiancé." Couldn't miss how he stressed 'my' and his step was a little jauntier at the same time. Fucking douchebag extraordinaire.

"We know about the account, Mason. Now, what do you know...about...Jeremy...Gilbert?" My voice is hard and each word uttered in a short staccato to emphasize I am done dicking around.

Mason's hand freezes on the door knob and he glances at me over his shoulder with his forehead scrunched up in confusion. Suddenly the door opens forcing Mason back a step and Alaric slides into the room. He motions to the door as if saying _'we need to get out of here_.'

Time to push and push hard since I'm guessing Mason's goons are on their way by the look of Alaric. "We know about the money Jeremy was stashing away. So tell us what you know about his disappearance." Mason is shifting his eyes between the two of us still looking bewildered.

Suddenly his face changes. "I get it. You're trying to play the hero." Mason has a wide shit eating grin on his face as he glances from Alaric to me, grinning like he just revealed the biggest secret in history.

"Someone finally did their homework." I give Mason a nonchalant shrug and Alaric groans. I knew Mason would do a thorough background check by now, one that would be deep enough to reveal my real occupation.

"So the big, bad PI has come to play hero. Thinks if he can find baby brother, he'll finally get the girl. How sad." Mason gives me a fake pouty face.

Pushing myself to my feet, my eyes slide to Alaric who gives a slight shake of his head. I hate that he is always the angel on my shoulder whispering to do right. Right now, I need him to be the devil egging me on. Tamping down my urge to throw down with Mason I hold my ground. "I sense Photoshop will become your best friend unless you start talking."

"How sad is it to still love a woman who told you to your face that she would never love you. Who chose your own brother over you. A woman who chose me, someone you hated, over you. Damon Salvatore, never anyone's choice, never to be loved or wanted." Mason gloated. His words hang in the air and the tension ratchets up tenfold. My hands curl into fists and the movement doesn't escape Mason's attention. He stiffens realizing he pushed his luck too far.

Mason lunges for the door. Before I have a chance to move, hell before I even have a chance to take a breath, there is the sound of flesh hitting flesh and Mason is on his ass. My eyes widen staring at Mason sprawled out on the floor lip bleeding and Alaric shaking out his right hand. Holy shit, Alaric just punched Mason. It's my turn to be a proud dad. There is no time to gloat as an alarm sounds. Before Alaric could stop him, Mason hit a button next to the door which must have been a panic button. The door tears open and three guys enter the room assessing the situation. Knowing we need to move quickly, I recall my football days and leap at the door, arms spread wide. Two of the three hit the floor and I trust Alaric is taking care of the third.

Looking down, Kol and Klaus are beneath me struggling to extricate themselves and regain their feet. A knee to the gut keeps Kol on the ground while I am able to get a couple of quick hits on Klaus at his ribs and one at the jaw that has his head ricocheting off the floor. Rolling to my feet and a swift kick to a still prone Kol has him curling into a ball. Glancing over my shoulder, Alaric has laid out the third man. Both of us take off down the hall and out of the house to the Camaro. We are driving down the street just as the police are racing to the Lockwood's.

"'_Can we not kick anyone's ass tonight_?' Your words, not mine. Just saying." I give him a half grin.

"Shut it," Alaric saying with a petulant tone. And, for once, I abide by his request and we ride the rest of the drive in silence.

"I can't believe I hit a future President of the United States," Alaric laments as we walk into _The Grille_. He is walking slightly ahead and surprises me when he suddenly stops. Looking past him, I see why. The entire back of _The Grille_, where they occasionally hold private parties, is decorated with balloons and streamers along with a large banner exclaiming, _'Happy Birthday Elena_.'

"Maybe we should….." Alaric starts but I brush past him to the bar.

"I need a drink." Alaric must agree as he reluctantly sits next to me and he wisely signals for the bartender. We commence drinking, trying to forget this night.

"He looked surprised." Alaric takes a sip from the bourbon placed in front of him.

"What?" I snap.

Alaric shoves my drink closer to me. I take the hint and take a long drink. The burn of the bourbon is a welcome distraction from my anger. I hate Mason Lockwood and wanted more time to find creative ways to get any and all information out of him.

"Mason. He was surprised about Jeremy's account." I just nod in agreement. Just because he was surprised doesn't mean he is innocent. We fall into silence pretending to ignore that Elena and Mason will soon walk into this bar, and of course we didn't have long to wait for the supposed happy couple.

I really should leave. I'm regretting not listening to Alaric when tried to suggest we leave. Watching Elena celebrate her birthday sucks. The only upside was watching Mason's face pale when he saw me and Alaric sitting at the bar. I hate watching her talk with Caroline, hate watching her gently touch Stefan's arm as she spoke to him, and especially hate watching Mason put his arm around Elena's shoulders. It's not a loving gesture, but a gesture of possession. He uses that gesture to guide her away from her few friends towards those of higher standing that Mason chatted with readily while Elena barely spoke a word.

The nasally voice that grated me so often as a child, reverberates next to me. "Cosmopolitan." Caroline Forbes is standing next to me, little black dress, hair done, and pissed off look on her face. Glancing next to her and seeing me, her pissed off look gets even darker.

"Great, Damon Salvatore. Don't know who I hate more, you, or Mason." Caroline says shrilly.

"Do _not_ lump me in with Mason Lockwood. Ever." I tell her the threat evident in my tone. Her eyes widen slightly at me and she nods.

I flash her a smirk to ease the sting of my previous words. "Do tell, blondie. Why are you hating on good ole' Masy boy? Isn't it girl code to try and get along with your best friend's man?"

"Girl code says, if your friend is about to marry a douchebag, you try to convince them to call off the wedding. Even if you planned said wedding, and it will be the most sensational wedding since Jackie married JFK, you try and talk her out of it. But Elena, as always, is too stubborn and loyal to see the truth," Caroline admits, arms flailing dramatically.

"The only good thing about you being back, is maybe you'll screw up their wedding. Of course I won't get my hopes up as you'll probably abandon her at the last minute, screwing up your attempt to screw up the wedding." Caroline grimaces at me, hand on her hip in full bitch mode.

"Casting stones, Caroline? Everyone knows I'm a fuck up. What's your excuse for abandoning your best friend?" Caroline shrivels before me. She didn't think I would know that she had been out of Elena's life the majority of the time I was gone.

"While you were dwelling on your own drama, who was Elena supposed to lean on to ease her burdens? Because it certainly wasn't you or Stefan." Pain and regret fill Caroline's eyes as I rant at her.

"You, Damon. Elena may have been my rock, but you were hers and you abandoned her when she needed you the most." Caroline whispers. She might as well have punched me in the gut, the force of her words were that strong. Elena and were friends, but I never realized she depended on me that heavily.

With a flip of her hair, Caroline picked up her Cosmo and walks away. Yet again, my actions from four years ago are thrown in my face. I constantly try telling myself leaving was the right thing to do, but was it cowardly to try and pretended Elena didn't exist after that? Why didn't I check in over the years?

Turning to Alaric I see him studying Elena's party guests. Scanning the crowd, most are engaged in conversation. I see Mason heading for a reporter, John Gilbert walking towards the door, the Sheriff hovering and Elena moving to the bar.

"Did I miss something?" I ask wondering why Alaric looks tense.

"Not sure," Alaric says but he continues to study the room.

Uncertain if I want to know more I decide to move down the bar, stupidly to sit next to Elena. As I approach I order her a martini. Sliding it in front of her, Elena glances first at me then at the drink and shakes her head no. "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to" I jokingly tell her. It's not lost on me that this party is a total political farce to sell Mason to the media as the loving fiancé. From the look on Elena's face all night, that fact is not lost on her. Hell, the only people here she actually cares about are Caroline and Stefan and they technically work for Mason. Stefan is working on Mason's campaign and Mason is footing the bill for Caroline's wedding planning skills.

A sound I had missed being directed at me ripples out of Elena. Laughter. I've seen many sides of her beauty since being back but it wasn't until this moment, I realized how much I missed her smile and the sound of her laugher. It seems to fill a room and drown out all other sounds.

Elena eyes the drink I bought her greedily then her eyes pop up finding Mason across the room. His face is tight as he stares at us. Fuck him. I push the drink even closer to her with a smirk. Seeing Elena together with Mason burns my gut. It pains me to know that by marrying Mason, she is choosing a life of misery. Grayson was right, Elena is moving through life with blinders on.

"Sometimes the hard decisions, the ones that are honest and real, cause pain for you and those you care about. But sometimes that short term pain is needed for a lifetime of happiness." Great, now I sound like a fucking fortune cookie and it's probably going to get me yelled at again.

Elena eyes seem conflicted for a moment before they drop to the bar. "Is that bar wisdom?" Elena asks with an uncomfortable chuckle.

"Nope," I pop the p sound. "Just me getting less dumb with old age." I grin down at her. "Now, you have a couple of professional drinkers at your service." I motion my head in the direction of Alaric and my empty stool. "So, if you want to tie one on, you know where to find me," I tell her matter of factly.

Walking back to my seat next to Alaric, I force myself not to look back at her. I know she won't follow and I don't need to watch her walk back to Mason. Elena, no surprise, does exactly what I predicted and returned to Mason's side. Not long after this, I decide I can't take any more and head to my childhood home.

Standing at my window, shoulder pressed against the glass. I stare out at the dark, moonless night. Nights are always the worst time for me and I avoid my bed like the plague for fear of what haunts my dreams. The only positive things about insomnia is that it gives me lots of time to ponder our case.

We've reviewed Jeremy's last day in detail based on information from Anna and Elena who were the only two people to speak to him that day. Per Anna, he insisted he had to go the lake house before he went to the bank and packed. Something about that day is bothering me. He planned and plotted. Why do something so random as going to the lake house when he had so many things left to do? Elena took Jeremy's journal and I need to get it back as see if there are any more clues in it.

The door to my room creaks open breaking me out of my thoughts and a thin beam of light from the hall breaks through the thick blackness. A beautiful silhouette stands in the door, a silhouette I would recognize anywhere as it is of the angel that I went to hell for.

"Elena," I whisper and she walks into my room closing the door behind her.

**A/N: Please drop me a note and let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: My muse made me struggle with this chapter. I rewrote it numerous times but finally got it where I wanted it. The chapter has a split POV. The majority is Damon but the end is Elena. Thank you again for all the follows, favorites, and reviews. I think I am caught up on responding to reviews. If I missed anyone I apologize. I appreciate all of your feedback! Just a warning….adult content in this chapter. Happy reading!**

**Chapter 11**

"Elena" I stupidly repeat. Why is she here, in my room, in the middle of the night?

She doesn't respond but her breathing stutters indicating she's nervous. Something hits the floor with a soft swoosh and slight clatter. I can only assume it's the coat I saw her wearing before she closed the door plunging the room into darkness. Saying nothing, footsteps slowly cross the room towards me. Her silence ratchets up the tension between us that started the second she closed the door. I should move to meet her half way, move to turn on a light, move period. But I'm stuck, my back plastered to the window. All the blood in my body has moved to Damon Junior rendering my limbs useless. Stopping in front of me, I'm wishing there is more than the ambient light from outside so I can see her face. I have no idea why she is here and part of me is not sure I want to know. But as usual, me being a complete idiot, I have to ask the question. "Why are you here Elena?"

"Making a decision for myself," she replies quietly. What the hell does that mean? After her enigmatic statement, she steps even closer. The heat of her body, the mango vanilla scent of her shampoo envelope me as if in an embrace. There is no mistaking the intention of that step and if I wasn't hard before, now I'm like granite, but I can't wrap my head around Elena being here like his when she hates me. So, me, being a person that _does_ look a gift horse in the mouth utters the stupidest phrase any warm blooded man can utter in this situation. "We really need to talk."

"Tomorrow, I promise." With those words she places her hands on my stomach her lips are then on mine. I should stop this, I should push her away force us to have the conversation we need to have, but I can't. This moment has been the object of more fantasies than I care to admit. I may be a fuck up but even I'm not dumb enough to walk away from this.

My hands immediately go to her hair pulling her so close we are practically the same person. The kiss is desperate, deep, full of something I can't name but am to gone to analyze. Skimming her body I lift her and Elena immediately wraps her legs around me and I turn so she is pressed against the window. The press of her against me, her hips grinding in just the right way has me feeling like a teenager ready to blow way too soon.

Our kisses become even more frantic. Elena rips at my shirt, buttons flying around the room. My hands push up the skirt of her dress firmly cupping her butt to feel lacy boy short style underwear. Her lips trail down my neck to my collar bone and I take a few strides to the bed. Dropping her on the mattress with bounce, Elena makes quick work of the zipper at the side of the dress. She yanks it off before I even get a knee on the bed leaving her in just her underwear.

I hesitate. Can I really do this? I've had a lot of meaningless sex in my life, but this is Elena. Nothing about her is meaningless. She's engaged but I didn't feel a ring. Her ring finger is as naked as she is trying to make herself right now. Holy fuck, did she break it off with Lockwood? Shit, now I am really conflicted. Doing this with her will expose all and reveal a story I had no intention to tell in all its gory detail. I must have been standing and staring at her too long as a hand wrapped around my neck and lips are hot and wet against my collar bone. My hands move up to grip Elena's waist and my head falls back as he continues to kiss across my chest and up my neck. Any ability to reason or stop fly out the window. The top button of my jeans pops open and Elena hand plunges inside. Before she has a chance to touch me I decide I'm done letting her lead and take over.

Pulling her hand free I kiss her long, hard and deep. She tastes like strawberries. I fucking love strawberries. Kissing down her body I unclasp her bra and toss it over my shoulder to some unknown corner of my room. Hopefully it gets lost and I mysteriously discover it another time so I can relive this moment. Laying her against the pillows I continue a thoroughly exploration of her beautiful body. Taking a nipple in my mouth I gently bite down then lave it with my tongue to ease the sting. Her body undulates beneath and the breathy moan that escapes from her I want repeated over and over. Moving to pay equal attention to the other breast, she moves her hands from gripping the sheets to gripping my hair. The more turned on she is the tighter her grip gets but the sharp pain is worth it.

Elena releases my hair to try and push my jeans down. "Damon, we don't need all the foreplay." She says on a breathy sigh.

"Oh no, sweetheart. You came to me, we move at my pace." I smirk at her as I pull her hands away and resume my path to where we both want me to be.

Running my tongue along the waistband of her underwear Elena shutters and shivers. My tongue plunges into her belly button, giving her a sneak previews if what to expect later. Using my teeth, I pull Elena's lacy boy shorts down her long toned legs, legs that go on for miles. Using lips and tongue I retrace a path to her core.

Looking up her body, I can see Elena's chest rising and falling rapidly, her lips parted as she draws in breath. Blowing warm air on her sex, her body arches up and I have to put a hand on her stomach to hold her in place as I move in to taste Elena for the first time. I have jerked off to this fantasy more than once, but nothing compares to the real thing. The smell of her skin and feeling the wetness of her arousal is intoxicating. My tongue take a leisurely stroll along her core swirling around her clit. It doesn't take long for me to start to feel the familiar constriction as I plunge my tongue inside her drawing her closer to the edge. Replacing my tongue with my fingers I rear up in a one armed push-up needing to watch her. Her body arches and hips grind down on my active fingers but I can see her holding back.

Dragging my tongue up the length of body as my fingers circle and press in on her clit, I nip at her earlobe. I want to be inside her more than I have ever wanted anything in my life, but I need to finish worshipping this beautiful body first. "Let go Elena, I'm here with you." Pulling back slightly her body rises off the bed and her face contorts beautifully in pleasure.

"Oh God," she moans loudly as I feel her body convulse beneath me. Her face is lost in total abandon. It is the most magnificent site I have ever seen.

Her body still convulsing in aftershocks she opens her eyes and locks her gaze on mine. "Please" she whispers.

Still slowly circling her swollen nub, I make the herculean effort of shimming out of my jeans in one point five seconds. I pause to study her face to make sure she really wants this. Sensing my hesitation she reaches down and palms my shaft tentatively. She pumps me slowly a few times before running her hands back up my chest to push my shirt down my arms that I only just now realized I'm still wearing. Taking that as permission to continue, I line myself up with her core and plunge inside.

I knew something was off the second I entered her. She is tighter than anyone I have been with and I meet a slight resistance I wasn't expecting. Watching Elena's face, it pinches in pain briefly and I halt my movements.

Realization dawns on me. "Shit!" I let the word escape. Elena's eyes widen at my expletive. My entire body is rigid, my arms locked so my weight is not fully on her, uncertain what to do as my mind comprehends that I just took Elena's virginity. Which should be impossible because she gave it up to Stefan four years ago. Those sick bastards showed me the pictures of the two them cuddled together naked in bed.

I cup her face gently rubbing my thumb across her cheekbone. "Elena" I say softly. Her body is wound tight, hands clutching the sheets.

Elena reaches up scoring her nails across my scalp and lifts her hips to me. "Don't stop Damon, please, just move." There is a desperation, a need so profound in her tone that I can't comprehend. She starts to slide her hands toward my back but I capture them and gently push them to the bed lacing our fingers together. This night is heavy enough. She doesn't need to feel the evidence of my history on top of it. We'll just add giving me her virginity to the list of things we need to talk about tomorrow. Now I just want to focus on making this as beautiful an experience as possible for her.

Slowly pulling back, I glide forward, the wetness from her earlier orgasm easing my way. I alternate nips and open mouthed kisses along her skin. Keeping my movements slow each thrust has me going slightly deeper into her wet heat and I feel her body start to relax and respond. Wet, tight, it's as if she was made for me. She is meeting me trust for thrust and obviously wants to go faster but I need this to be slow. This is not a quick fuck and she needs to know that her being with me like this, me being her first is a gift that I will treasure always.

"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen Elena," I whisper against the column of her throat. She is in every way. The feel of her beneath me, being inside of her, knowing no one has had her like this makes me feel like the luckiest bastard in the world. For the first time, I feel like I belong to someone and she belongs to me.

Moving so both her hands are captured in one of my hands, I allow the other explore reaching between us and pressing in and swirling around her bundle of nerves. She lets out a gasp as I feel her squeeze her walls around my cock like a fist. I have to fight with every ounce of control not to come here and now. This may be her first time but I refuse to finish until she comes again, this time with me inside her. The wetness sounding me increases as do her moans of pleasure.

Elena tightens even more and I can feel she is on the edge again. Her eyes are scrunched closed and she is biting her bottom lip. Running my tongue along that lip she opens for me and I kiss her, conveying every emotion I can to her. Love, loss, regret, begging for forgiveness, wanting her to be with me, partners in life forever.

"Elena, look at me." I say against her lips. Her eyes flutter open locking on mine. At my words, her back arches against me for the second time that night.

"Damon" she moans as her inner walls flutter around me. She continues to utter my name like a prayer. Watching Elena come just jumped to my all-time top five moments in my life.

No longer able to hold back I pull her hips towards me thrusting hard and deep. A few thrusts later and I'm moaning her name as I come inside her. Keeping most of my weight on my forearms I bury my face in her neck keeping us connected. We are both breathing heavy coming down from our mutual orgasms.

"Are you okay?" I whisper against her throat. She simply nods her head her hands still flat against the mattress above her head.

Pushing up to study her face, she looks sated and relaxed. "Elena, you should have"

Reaching up she places a finger against my lips, "Tomorrow" she interrupts.

Studying her for a moment, I acquiesce not wanting to ruin the moment. Gently pulling out of her I silently cross the room to the bathroom and get a wash wet with warm water. Returning to the bed I gently clean up Elena and put the washcloth in the hamper. When I return to the bed she is curled up on her side and I climb in behind her pulling her against my body my front to her back and covering us the comforter.

Her body relaxes and her breathing slows. Leaning down I pace a gentle kiss on the top of her head trying to drink in every second of Elena Gilbert sleeping in my arms. "I never stopped loving you," I whisper against her hair before allowing myself to fall asleep.

_**"Damon Salvatore!" Elena yelled as her stomping feet can be heard coming up the stairs. She stood in the door to my bedroom, one hand on her hip and the other holding a piece of paper.**_

_**"Damon Salvatore, what did you do?" Elena continued to bellow now waving the paper in the air.**_

_**"Raised a little hell, made a little love, got down to tonight," I replied with a wink. Her expression never changed even as I slightly misquote song lyrics.**_

_**Elena stomped across the room and threw the paper in my lap as I continued to lounge on my bed. I picked up the paper and gave it a quick perusal, it was an e-mail confirming the receipt of an application to a writing program in New York. Knew I was forgetting to talk to her about something.**_

_**"Oh, yeah. I sent in your application for the writing program you're interested in," I replied nonchalantly picking up my copy of Call of the Wild from my nightstand.**_

_**Elena grabbed the book, tossing it across the room, and glared at me. "You can't decide my future for me, Damon!"**_

_**"You're right, but I can make sure you have options to choose from so your future is what you want it to be instead of settling for what's in front of you. When you get in the program then you'll actually have a choice to make on whether or not you go. You weren't even going to apply, I rectified that." I pushed myself to my feet. Arguing with Elena while lying on my bed will have me losing the argument in two seconds due to being distracted by imaging her being horizontal with me.**_

_**"You're just like everyone else in my life, trying to make decisions for me. It's my life!" Elena ground out. "Don't be like my mother and control me!"**_

_**"Don't lump me in with your mother. I did what I did because I love you," I bit out. Both of us froze. I never intended to admit that to Elena especially not while yelling at her. She has been with my brother for a long time and will make beautiful kids together. I will just be the favorite uncle in the Damon-Elena-Stefan triangle.**_

_**"You love me?" Elena asked in a whisper. Her eyes softened for a moment but then were overcome with confusion and fear.**_

_**Elena sounded shocked. Frankly if this was a surprise, she really hasn't been paying very close attention. Even though I never said the words to her out loud, I've never hidden it. "I love you and because I love you I want you to have everything you deserve in life. I promised you once that I would do whatever is necessary to help you have a better life and I keep my promises. Even if I have to piss you off to do it," I said in a frustrated tone.**_

_**"I'm with your brother. I care about you, but I'm with your BROTHER." She repeated almost like she was trying to reassure herself as she looked at me like a deer caught in headlights.**_

_**"I know its Stefan for you. It's always going to be Stefan. I have never nor will I ever stand in the way of the two of you, that's a promise." I tell her softly. I pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and her body tensed. I gave her a sad smile in return.**_

_**"Bury your head in the sand, pretend you didn't hear me say the words, but it won't change the truth. It also won't change you and me because I've loved you since there WAS a you and me so nothing has to be different. In some way, shape or form, there will always be a you and me even if it's just as in-laws." I said quietly reaching out and squeezing her hand.**_

The bed is cold and before I even open my eyes I know she's gone. This fact sobers me from my dream, remembering when I admitted my feelings for Elena, which, par for the course, went over like a bull in a china shop.

Rolling to my back, I punch the mattress in frustration. She gives me her virginity, but doesn't stick around. Guess I served my purpose, gave her two orgasms and she was done. I was patient, tried not push her to talk about our past, tried to not be my usual dickish self. To use me and leave, she obvious thinks nothing of me so might as show her my true colors.

After a quick shower, I'm pulling on a black henley when there is a rap on my bedroom door. Tearing it open, Alaric is standing on the other side. Glancing around the room I doubt it will take much for him to realize what I did last night. Sensing my mood, it probably flashes a neon sign to Alaric who I was with last night. He shifts from foot to foot. It's obvious he wants to tell me something but is now hesitant to do it.

"Spit it out Alaric. I have a client due a visit from their friendly neighborhood PI," I tell him wryly. Elena didn't bother to spare my feelings when she left me alone in my bed, so I won't spare hers when I pay her a visit.

"That needs to wait. Finally got a lock on the signal from the bugs at the Gilbert's. I have the coordinates of where they were being monitored. Maybe this will be a better use of your energy." Alaric holds up a slip of paper. As much as I want to go confront Elena, this is a lead we can't ignore. Jeremy has to come before my desire to verbally volley with his sister. Plus the quicker I find Jeremy, the sooner I can get out of dodge.

"For once, stay out of my way if we find this fucker." Heading back into my room, I head straight for my nightstand. Retrieving my gun, I verify it's loaded and shove it into the back waistband of my jeans. Snagging my leather jacket I push past Alaric as we silently head to the Camaro.

The coordinates lead us to a trailer in the middle of the woods. It's run down with boarded up windows and a satellite on the roof. A dirt trail with deep tire tracks indicates frequent trips up and down the trail. There is no car in sight but I still proceed cautiously. Alaric circles around to check the perimeter and surrounding woods. Drawing my gun I approach the door. Throwing it open, I train my gun on the opening quickly scanning the space. Seeing no one there, I enter and shut the door keeping the gun in my grip at my side.

Once I see the trailer is deserted, I scan the space and immediately pull out my phone. Alaric picks up a moment later. "Houston, we have a problem. Get your ass in here now."

Hanging up the phone, I pace around the trailer studying the pictures tacked to the walls. Spread around the space are stacks of boxes each filled with folders labeled by month and year. There is a laptop which appears to be password protected. I'm engrossed going through the folders when the door opens. On reflex, my gun goes up to see a wide eyed Alaric with his hands in the air.

"Geez, Damon, put the gun down." Alaric says walking into the trailer. He whistles as he takes in the surroundings. Wall to wall pictures of Elena. In her room, at the Lockwoods, at the Grille, everywhere she went.

Alaric and I spend the next few hours scouring boxes of files. "The Gilbert household wasn't bugged because of Jeremy. It was all for Elena." I mutter out loud. Was Mason that paranoid to keep this close of an eye on Elena?

"Damon, I think this is bigger than Mason Lockwood." Alaric points to a box he has been sorting. On closer inspection the box has records dating back almost four years, to just after Elena and Stefan graduated high school. Long before she ever started dating Mason.

"This was a long term, expensive operation. Why watch her all this time? And how does any of this relate to Jeremy Gilbert's disappearance?" Alaric scrubs his hand down his face in exasperation. We have an abundance of clues but they are leading us nowhere.

"Any luck with the computer?" I ask. The folders contain notes on Elena's day to day activities and pictures but no audio or video files. Alaric shakes his head no.

"Let's pack up whatever we can carry then call Slater. The kid could hack into the pentagon if we supplied him with enough red bull." I sigh in exasperation. Alaric returns my sigh then turns to pack up the laptop and I start hauling boxes to the car.

Once the car is loaded, we head back to town so I can drop off Alaric. He gets the nerdy computer work while I pay a visit to my supposed bed partner then I get to go hunting for our peeping tom. Neither one of them are going to enjoy my company.

* * *

**Elena's POV**

The water is still warm as it beats over my skin as I sit on the bottom of the shower hugging my knees rocking back and forth. Why did he say he loves me? He loved me once but he left me. It was supposed to be one night, with me walking away my heart intact. I gave up on dreams a long time ago. For some reason I held onto one romantic fantasy. Seeing my mother lure man after man to her bed I vowed sex would be meaningful and I would wait for a man I loved and would love me forever. I've held onto the naive fantasy of my first time being beautiful and an expression of love. Roses and candles and romance novel brainwashing are how I envisioned the night I lost my virginity. Last night was meant to be a chance to control my first time so it was done on my own terms. Done in a way to avoid my virginity being a prize in a game I don't know the rules to or even knew I was playing.

Buried deep inside is place that always belonged to Damon. Knowing he loved me once and albeit buried, I loved him in return, I could pretend I was still getting my fantasy. Leaving four years ago proved Damon never really loved me, but in the dark of night I planned to pretend it was still real. In the light of day I planned to put the last shovel of dirt on anything Damon Salvatore never to be unearthed again. I would be able to walk away because, growing up with him, Damon did not do repeat performances. We would both walk away having taken from the other and never look back.

Then he whispers he never stopped loving me? Telling myself he didn't love me was the damn holding back a swell of emotions. Hearing his whispered confession broke the damn and all the pain and hurt from his leaving four years ago came flooding back. The pain wars heavily with my true feelings for Damon which I don't know how to bury anymore. I also don't know how to forgive him.

It was naive and cruel of me to forget that the man I once knew better than I knew myself, loved deeper and fiercer than anyone I have ever met. How could I think he wouldn't still harbor at least some feelings for me? As usual, I am blind and stupid as there were signs everywhere since he came back that he still cared. It doesn't change what he did four years ago which makes last night hurt like nothing has ever hurt before. I thought no one would get hurt. One night that was mine, which I controlled. I couldn't stay there. It was cowardly and cruel but I couldn't stay next to him as every inch of naked skin pressed against me seared the pain even deeper. It hurt even more than up until his confession, it was the most beautiful experience of my life.

The whole debacle started because I finally got up the courage to tell Mason I needed a break, needed time to think. I can't focus on a wedding when my brother is missing. Once Jeremy is found Mason and I can sit down and talk. Mason being unhappy was an understatement. He was so angry it weirdly bordered on panic. He forced a conversation between me and Uncle John who was also not happy, downright hostile. He lectured me like a child for over thirty minutes about my responsibilities and obligations, about how disappointed my dad would be, about ruining Mason's career. Once alone, Mason widened his threats. Not only would he ruin Caroline and Stefan's future but would have Damon and Alaric arrested for assault against his staff that occurred earlier in the day. Trapped. That is what I am, trapped into marrying him and Mason knows it.

Mason is yet another example of being blind and naive. I had been alone a long time with no one but Jeremy when Mason came along. He said the right things, made me feel like I had an ally to face life. To late did I see through his slick words and actions to see I am merely a pawn in his quest to achieve his own goals. He was smug and gloating but I was willing to pay my penance for some wrongs I must have committed in a previous life to keep my friends and family happy, but he pushed too far.

_**"You're mine, Elena. Once we're married, you will be mine in every way. All the boys in this town wanted to be the first to have you, me included. Lucky me you're such a prude to have held out this long." Mason laughed nefariously. "When I run for Governor and President our story will win us elections. Hometown sweethearts, my wife a virgin on her wedding might. Hollywood couldn't write a better story. Our legend will exceed JFK."**_

My phone ringing snaps me out of my thoughts. Turning off the water, I quickly dry off. Picking up my phone I see a missed call from Stefan. I don't have the strength to deal with either Salvatore brother. Throwing on a pair of skinny jeans, a blue camisole and oversized grey sweater that hangs slightly off one shoulder. I walk to the jewelry box on the dresser. Begrudgingly I pick-up my engagement ring. I purposely left it here last night. Fighting back the bile in my throat, I slide it on my finger feeling the prison door slam on my life. Moving to my bed, I sit with my journal and as I have done so often before pour out my true feelings.

My phone rings again and I see its Stefan on the caller ID. Praying he doesn't know anything about last night with his brother I answer it.

"Hello," I answer tentatively.

"Elena. I'm sorry about Damon. Mason said he's been bothering you," he gushes out. Before I can respond the doorbell starts ringing repeatedly.

"Hang on a second Stefan, someone's at the door." With the incessant buzzing it's most likely a delivery for the wedding. Things are arriving nonstop with the wedding only a week away.

Running down the stairs, phone still at my ear I pull it open. "Oh, shit," I gasp.

Stefan starts talking in my ear but I don't hear a word he says. All I can see and focus on is a very pissed off Damon.

"That's not happiness to see me," Damon quips and charges into the house.

**A/N: Please leave a review and let me know what you think! **


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